Brady Szuhaj Goes to Da Moon

Brady Goes to DA MOON

Brady was lying in bed one day during the COVID-19 Pandemic of 2020 being bored cuz y'know the quarantine was happening. He was by himself in his room, alone with his thoughts. But instead of thinking sad depressing thoughts like a fucking loser, he suddenly had the best thought ever....

" Oh my god, the corona virus can't get us if we're on DA MOON!"

Brady shot up from his bed and ran towards his kitchen at like mach 5 and slammed himself into the fridge, scaring Susy who was just vibin' in the kitchen until her gremlin of a boyfriend showed up. 

"Brady what the absolute fu-"

"SUSY WE ARE GOING TO DA MOON ITS LIKE MEGA QUARANTINE" 

Susy shrugged and nodded her head "Yeah ok, but how are we going to get there?"

"I think I can help with that" a familiar voice came from the entryway 

The two gasp at the sight of the man "IS THAT BERNIE SANDERS" both of them screamed, tears streaming down their face.

"Yes, and I am asking for your help with building the rocket ship, They don't want me to give America free healthcare, so I'll become the president of DA MOON, and whoever wants free healthcare can go with us" said Bernie, with that...sexy voice of his...

"How are we going to build a rocket though? we have no materials" Susy said rubbing her chin, lookin' like the fuckin' thinking emoji and shit. 

The three sat in the kitchen and thought, now they all looked like the thinking emoji, haha nice.

Suddenly Brady had an idea, 

"what if we use all the merch we didn't sell cuz we fucked it up and used it for the rocket ship, we can use like Gorilla Glue to keep it together" ah yes Bradford another wonderful idea that's 2 for 2 bud.

Bernie nodded "and I can use the the merchandise that I haven't sold yet to help with the building of this rocket"

Everyone gave each other a sick fucking high five, like the ones where they like make a nice sharp clapping sound and it kinda stings your hand a little bit. They all went to work on the rocket

-------------------------------------------SEVERAL DAYS LATER-------------------------------------------

Brady, Susy and Bernie Sanders all stand in front of their creation. It was the size of the death-star, various colors scattered through the entirety. Bernie put a hand on Brady's shoulder and looked him in the eye. 

"Brady, these past few days have been amazing, its very good to see hard working people like you, but I must ask of you one thing before we set off...."

"Bernie, I'd do anything for you" Brady's eyes glistened 

"To power the Ship, you must kill me, it's the only way to help the people of America get to the moon" 

Brady looked at him with sad eyes, he did want to kill Bernie. Bernie had become a friend to him and Susy, they had shared laughs, hardships, blood, sweat and tears. But he knew he had to do it, to make Bernie's dream of a nation with free healthcare a reality. Brady wiped a tear that had welled up in his eye away and nodded. 

"Ok Bernie, I'll do it for you, I'll do it for America, for....DA MOON" 

The day came when Brady, Susy and all the people who wanted free healthcare had gathered to the Merch-Star. They threw a big party for Bernie, for he was the driving force for the project. and when the party died down, it was time to sacrifice Bernie to the Merch-Star.

The thousands of people went into the Merch-Star and were all assigned to their living quarters. Each apartment had a bathroom and two sets of bunk beds and two desks, as well as a bookshelf. As everyone set all their belongings in their living quarters, they all went to the Cantine, where Bernie would give his last speech to all of his supporters.

"My fellow Americans, and soon to be Moonians, I would like to give some words before we depart for our new home..."

the room fell silent. 

Bernie Continued "The hardwork that I and my fellow builders, Brady and Susy, put into the Merch-Star has shown me that there are people who still care about others in their country....."

As Bernie talked to the people of DA MOON, Brady thought to himself "I didn't initially think that there would be other people, I just thought we could get away from the virus that has been going around..."

He looked at his friend at the podium, and thought about the time they spent together "But I'm glad things went a different way, this way everyone here can live a happier life" Brady smiled to himself, squeezing Susy's hand. 

Bernie wrapped up his speech, " And although I may not be there with you when you finally reach the DA MOON, just know that I helped you get there, and I want you all to live happy wonderful lives" 

He stepped away from the podium, the crowd stood and cheered. Brady shed tears from his eyes as he and Susy walked up to Bernie and they all had a group hug. 

"Brady..Susy....you have been wonderful friends...but I believe it's time to depart"

Brady wiped away his tears and nodded.

The three walked to the energy core room, and all stood in front of the empty space where the energy core was soon to be. 

"Bernie..." Brady said softly

Bernie looked at his young friend

" We love you " Susy said

He gave the two a soft smile "I love you too"

Brady went to reach into his coat pocket, brandishing a hand gun loaded with one singular bullet.

"When you two think of me, remember me as a man who would do anything for his country" Bernie said, with no sense of fear or resentment in his voice, only bravery.

Brady's eyes began to tear up once more, Susy  braced herself.

BANG

The next moment, Bernie was on the ground, but no blood came out, only stardust.

-------------------------------------------Epilogue, several years later-------------------------------------------

Brady and Susy stood in the middle of Bernington city square, where the newly constructed statue of their old friend Bernie Sanders stood. Made of shiny Bronze, it was a very lovely statue, every detail exactly as the two remember, they made sure of it. The past 5 years have been very fruitful, almost the entire city was made in the first 2 years they were there. A successful attempt at creating an atmosphere for DA MOON was the first thing that was done after they arrived, and everything went smoothly. Hardly anyone complains about how things are running, the economy is going well, and everyone gets treated for free. This is the future Bernie would have wanted. 

"If only he was here" Brady thought to himself. He shook his head, no use on dwelling on the past,  the citizens of DA MOON are happy, so he's happy. 

"I'm so glad i came up with this idea" Brady said