I sit here in a stunned silence. Why? Why does it always have to be like this? I'm sick of it all.
Two months ago, my Dad came home from war. He was one of a lucky few who survived the explosion that wiped out most of his war unit, and even he was on death's door for a week. When he came home, he was told to take it easy, that he wouldn't be sent to war again. Ever. Yeah, well, that lasted a long time. Mum has just told me that Dad is going to war again, for the fifth time. But this time he is going to probably the most dangerous location he could possibly be sent, and yet again I'm stuck at home with my Mother and Gran. At least they understand what I'm going through because it was the same when my Mum was a teenager. The Dad always gone to war, just the two of them at home. At least I have Gran as well.
I clear my throat, taking in a huge breath of air. I didn't realise I was holding my breath. Taking a few more breaths to calm myself down I ask 'How long will you be gone this time'. 'A year and a half,' Dad tells me. I can see the pain in his eyes. 'Ebony, I'm sorry'. I don't think I can take this any longer. I'm about to burst into tears, but I don't want Mum seeing. She already has enough on her shoulders, she doesen't need me upsetting her even more. Quickly I stand up and run out of the living room, out of the house, until I'm at my horses paddock. I call her name and she trots over. Ducking under the fence I stroke her muzzle. Jet black and so soft and silky, just like the rest of her. A tear slips down my cheek, then another, and another. I bury my face in Midnight's mane and sob uncontrolablly. I'm not sure how long I stay like this, but it must've been awhile. Eventually Midnight pulls away and noses her way under my arm. I love it when she does this, it actually makes me feel much better, I don't know why. I look into her big brown eyes and she looks back. 'Wanna go for a ride?' I ask her. As if she understands, she tosses her head and gives a slight whinny.
As I grab my worn out stock saddle and my bridle, I think about how much Dad has been at war. Out of my fifteen years he has been gone for about three of them, and that's not even counting the two years he has been away at other posts. That makes five years altogether, now it will be six and a half. Sure he comes back for a week or so in the middle of his time away, but that's hardly enough time. He wasn't even allowed to come home for christmas last year.
I give Midnight a small smack on her belly. 'Oh no you don't' I tell her. She still thinks that she can get away with pushing her belly out when I tighten the girth. 'I don't fall for that trick anymore girl'. Jumping up into the saddle, I push my 'Cowgirl hat', as Mum calls it, down securely on my head and trot out of the shed where I keep all my gear. I think I'll head down the small trail that winds its way through the bushland that covers our property. Our property is so big that if I wanted to ride all the way to the back of it it would take me about three quarters of a day, that is if I didn't stop for long and I was at least trotting most of the time.
I've been riding for quite some time when I come to the creek that divides our property in two. I realise how hot I am, so I head up the river for a couple of minutes until I come to my secret waterhole. I came across it a year ago when I was out for a ride with my best friend Summer. We made a promise never to tell anyone about it, and we never have. Sliding off Midnight I take a deep breath. I love the scent of a summer breeze. 'You can graze here for a while girl, just don't eat too much'. Then I take off my clothes, changing in to the shorts and t-shirt I keep in a the tiny overhang of rock next to the waterhole. I jump in. The water's so cool and refreshing, I feel so much better already. I kind of feel bad for running off without telling anyone where I was going, but I'll be back before it gets too dark. I really should spend as much time as I can with Dad before he leaves, but for some reason spending time with him makes it harder to say goodbye again. I'm sick of feeling like a piece of me is missing all the time. All I want, all I need, is for Dad to be a real Dad, not someone who lives at our house for a couple of months and then goes to the other side of the world to fight someone elses war . I don't even get why there's a war going on, war is the stupidest thing ever.
'Come on' I call to Midnight. She dosen't need to be tied to a tree anymore, she knows to stay where I am, and she wouldn't leave me anyway. I put my dry clothes back on and jump back up in to the saddle. I glance at my watch. Three thirty. I've been out for four hours already, I should really start heading back.
I'm just passing the boulder that marks the point halfway between the waterhole and home when a noise disracts me from the half dream state I was in. Thunder. 'Heyy, Girl, it's ok' I comfort Midnight when I see her eyes widen in distress. 'It's just thunder, nothing that can hurt us'. Mentally I kick myself for not noticing the dark swollen clouds that had appeared for as far as I could see. I urge Mindnight in to a canter so we can get back to the house in less time.
Midnight has been cantering on and off for about twenty minutes when the rain starts pouring down. Within minutes we are both soaked to the bone. 'It's ok, we'll be home soon, then we'll be alright'. Talking to Midnight makes me feel better about the situation we're in, so I keep talking to her. 'We'll be home really soon, just like I said, then we can both dry off, don't worry about it Girl'. Suddenly Midnight stumbles on a soaked piece of bark and I loose my grip on the reins. I'm barely managing to stay on when a huge clap of thunder spooks Mindight and she rears up. She thuds back to the ground, but I can't hold on.
I crash to the ground and slip in to unconsciousness.
