Can't Say

Chapter 19

      The briefing room was an understatement of its interior design – it looked much more like a war room! There was a table in its center. Spread flat over this table's surface was a map. A layer of glass covered this map, most likely to prevent damage or taint from the dry-erase markers that you noticed on the side. The walls were decorated with various statistics of enemies and allies; some were noted as missing or no longer existing. There were no seats, though some attendants happily sat on the thin, carpeted floor.
      Everyone you had met so far packed themselves into the briefing room, making a crescent formation around the table. Slenderman stood on the otherwise open side of the table, remaining statuesque as the last bodies entered. Speculating mumbles rumbled through the room’s atmosphere, creating a nervous tension in your chest. The very second the door clicked shut, everyone fell silent, watching the tall being in anticipation.
      Slenderman began his announcement rather professionally, “It has come to my attention that a group of Zalgoids have breached the Slender Family territory.” He waited a moment as Jeff released a slew of curses, then continued. “Sexual-Offenderman’s residence is closest to this breaching, so his Proxies and residents will be joining us in the effort to push back the enemy. Everyone is obligated to take part in this mission.”
      You immediately began to wonder how you or Masky would survive this, seeing as the both of you were still recovering from major injuries. In an effort to fight the urge to simply blurt out your protest, you shot up a hand and waited for your master to acknowledge you. Ben and Laughing Jack snickered at this, but you held firm. Slenderman noticed you immediately, though he didn’t request your concerns, “Yes, ____. You and Masky are both included. Your injuries will not hinder you so much to prevent the performance of simple tasks.”
      Slowly, you lowered your hand, a sinking feeling in your gut settling uneasily. You glanced at Masky, who stood next to you. His mask prevented you from seeing his true expression, but you sensed a feeling of dread radiate from him.
      Tracing an index finger over the table, Slenderman explained the plan of operation. “We will rendezvous with Offender’s team at his motel. Since we have a new Proxy,” he tilted his head to gesture that he was implying you, “it is important that she meet her allies before the main event.” Your master returned his gaze to the general audience patiently waiting for further information. His finger trailed across the table’s surface a short distance and made a circle, “We will then wait for Offender’s scouts to update the Zalgoids’ position before transporting to this general location. I must stress to all of you not to cross the territory border under any circumstances. There are clear indications where the territories meet, so I will not accept any excuses.” Everyone nodded in silence.
      “Is this a kill mission or are we just herding some cattle around?” Jeff the Killer shuffled anxiously where he stood, shoving his hands into his hoody pocket. He pulled out a bent cigarette and a lighter, quickly flicking the device until it held a flame. 
      While Jeff took deep drags of his ashen tar-stick, Slenderman replied, “Considering the circumstances, Offender and I have agreed to capture at least one Zalgoid for interrogation.”
      “Shit,” Jeff didn’t like the sound of that. Even Laughing Jack was cringing at the instructions.
      It was no surprise to you that Masky, Hoodie, nor Toby were showing any objection to this. None of the Proxies had a choice, let alone an opinion. Ben seemed uncomfortable with what was to come, and Eyeless Jack remained impassive as he gazed at the map.
      Understanding the obvious tension in the room, Slenderman attempted to create some form of comfort so to raise the morale, “My brother and I will take care to capture one, but only when we greatly outnumber the intruders.”
      “How many are there?” Eyeless Jack spoke for the first time since the meeting had begun.
      “According to Offender’s scouts, there are seven Zalgoids,” Slenderman replied informatively. A weary groan quickly escaped Ticci Toby. “The usual strategy applies: four Proxies to one Zalgoid, two residents to one Zalgoid. Do your best to aid each other when possible. We needn’t for any further casualties.” Everyone nodded, some with reluctance.
      “Gear up. Return within 20 minutes for transport to Offender’s residence,” Slenderman made his orders firm as though he had done this a thousand times. You didn’t doubt the idea at all.
      The ammo and weapons this time around were a bit different from what you originally viewed. You and Masky went to get dressed into your typical Proxy gear, then joined Hoodie and Ticci Toby in the weapons room. Masky and Hoodie quickly busied themselves with equipping and stocking some rather serious-looking paintball guns. The transparent spheres that served as ammo seemed to be filled with water, and you finally succumbed to the urge to speak up. “Am I getting the wrong message or did I get abducted in the middle of a paintball war?”
      “Wrong m-message,” Toby snorted. He was steadily stocking up on his own short-ranged gun.
      “We’re fighting Zalgoids,” Hoodie stated, swinging a rifle over his shoulder and grabbing a pistol, to which his shoved into a hip holster. “That means demons.”
      You quickly put the pieces together, understanding what was going on, “So those balls are filled with holy water…?” 
      A barely suppressed giggle sounded from Ticci Toby’s direction as he hosed down his hatchet heads with a bottle of the blessed liquid, “She’s smarter th-than she looks.” 
      Masky walked up beside you, shoving a paintball gun and pistol into your arms. He already looked geared to go. “Not all Zalgoids are demons, though. Use your pistol if they aren’t writhing in pain from the balls.”
      “He said ‘b-balls’,” Toby giggled childishly to himself.
      A sigh escaped Hoodie from the other side of the room. You checked your acquired weapons and made yourself familiar with the paintball gun. “What about knives? Will they be effective?” Masky nodded, though he didn’t look all too confident with his answer. These Zalgoids were going to be a terrifying experience, and you could easily feel it in the room.
      Your group returned to the briefing room with a few minutes left to spare – always a good thing for a Proxy. The Creepypastas seemed ready since before you had left, though you shouldn’t have been surprised. They were, after all, made for this sort of thing. 
      You barely noticed everyone else make a reassuring nod to Slenderman, signaling that they were ready. The tall being didn’t hesitate to extend his dark tendrils and make contact with all others present  in the room. The sensation was exactly the same as last time – confusing and abrupt. Your brain had to adjust to the sudden change of view and smells. Blinking several times, you took in your surroundings, making quick note that the place looked like a motel lobby. It was a bit run-down, smelled heavily of cigarettes and sweat, and there were even a set of vending machines for snacks and drinks. A third machine, however, had your brow arching high upon realizing what it contained.
      Condoms.
      “This is,” you leaned over to Masky, speaking low, “not what I expected.”
      The brunette man didn’t turn his head as he responded, “Each brother has his own quirk.” He held his gaze toward your master, waiting for orders. “I’m surprised you didn’t catch on when you heard Offender’s name.”
      Cringing at how obvious the theme should have been, you mumbled, “Yeah, true.”
      At that instant, a second tall being appeared next to Slenderman. He was a bit shorter than your master, seemed stockier, and was clad in a dark trench coat and fedora. Rather than having no orifices on his head, this one had at least a mouth – one full of sharp teeth. “They haven’t noticed my Proxies yet,” the Slender-brother’s voice was gruff and deep, “or they’re ignoring them.”
      “Have you recovered any information as to why they’re trespassing?” Slenderman tilted his head, furrowing his brow at Sexual-Offenderman. 
      “You know those weirdos – always talking nonsense,” Offender scratched his head through his fedora, looking worried. “Should we really make a move?”
      “Absolutely,” your master firmly stated, “showing any sign of leniency will only encourage them to trespass more often.” His brother nodded, an edgy expression still apparent on his partial face.
      There was so much tension in the air that you hadn’t noticed the gradually increasing sounds of soft panting behind you. It was the huge, clawed hand credulously patting and running through your hair that startled you into a yelp. To this, you whirled around to see your invader, swatting away the hand. At this moment, you instantly realized two things: one was that the hand had a thin layer of dark, chocolate fur, the second was that whoever – whatever – was touching your hair wasn’t even close to being humanoid, as you had seen everyone else, so far.
      This being was easily two feet taller than yourself. It looked down at you through its only useful eye (the other’s lid seemed to be sewn shut) with a hurtful gaze. You studied the creature’s face, noting how it and its long snout were masked by patches of leather that were crudely sewn together. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end, certain that you were going to be eaten by whatever this was.
      “Seed Eater, what’d I tell you about sneaking up on the newbies,” Sexual-Offenderman’s gruff voice sternly broke the silence, startling you a bit. The hairy creature, presumably known as 'Seed Eater', dipped its head in apology – mostly to Sexual-Offenderman. 
      You took a step back, running your fingers over your violated hair to get rid of the lingering sensation. At this point, you were able to take in all that Seed Eater was. Its beastly physique was far different from any other Creepypasta you had encountered. A dark lion's mane bushed around its neck, emphasizing Seed Eater's already intimidating size. At this rate, everyone besides Ben Drowned was taller than yourself, and that was beginning to get irritating.
      A delicate, pale hand cupped under your chin as you studied the haunting animal in front of you. This hand derailed your train of thought as it pulled you back around to face the trench-coated Slender-being. He grinned down to you, giving a seductive view of his sharp, pearly whites. “Finally got you a new Proxy, big bro? And a female, at that,” Sexual-Offenderman chuckled, tilting and turning your head in all sorts of directions as he looked you over. “Did you break her in yet?”
      From behind the far less sophisticated brother, Slenderman released an exasperated sigh. “No, I did not. You know well that I do not participate in such grotesque activities.”
      “What else are they for?” Sexual-Offenderman looked over his shoulder before licking his lips and looking back at you with a hungry gaze. You weren't sure how you knew the expressions on his mildly lacking face – you weren't sure how you understood your master's expressions – but they were clear to you, regardless. “I could break her in for you, if you wa-”
      “No,” Slenderman's voice boomed throughout the lobby. Seed Eater and your fellow Proxies shifted uneasily. Jeff, Ben, and the two Jacks didn't seem to be phased.
      At his brother's denial, Sexual-Offenderman released your chin and threw up his hands in defeat. “All right! All right.” He then mumbled as he stepped back, still grinning, “Such a waste.”
      Your eyes shifted between your master and his brother. Part of you worried that the shorter Slender-being would be a threat, but you also had a faint voice in your head whispering assurance of your safety.
      Before anyone in the lobby could begin a new conversation, a door from down a short hall clicked open, whining as it swung forward to make way for whoever was entering. A feminine voice full of womanly confidence cooed out, “Smexy, if you don't stop irritating your brother, we might not have a place to stay anymore.” Two sets of heels echoed from further beyond the door.
      From around the corner emerged a stout woman, short in stature, yet she didn't seem bothered by her socially unattractive appearance. She was clad in classical drama attire, but with a sassy twist. Her dressy flats padded on the tiled floor as she drew closer to your group. Dangling from her neck was a long chain, attached to a green, metal box. You could only imagine what was hidden inside. As this woman approached Sexual-Offenderman, she twirled one of her long, stray curls of dark brown locks in her fingers. The rest of her high ponytail bounced with the heavy sway of her seductive hips. “You wouldn't want all your women running loose, now would you?” Despite speaking to the Slender-being, the woman's deep, brown eyes scanned over the guests that had arrived.
      “Aw, Isa, baby,” Sexual-Offenderman smirked wide, “you know I couldn't let that happen. I like my women tight.” Jeff immediately snorted at this statement, trying to stifle his perverted laughter. It took you a moment to realize what was so funny.
      The same door from earlier whined open again, clicking heels growing louder as they approached. One set of steps was slow, while the other tapped quickly, as though trying to keep up. Your gaze from the woman, Isa, switched to the corner toward the unseen door, quickly seeing two very different women come from around the corner.
      One woman was tall, though still not even close to reaching either of the Slender brothers. The other woman was incredibly short, far smaller than even Isa. At best, she may reach your hips. As for the taller woman, you noticed her near-perfect physique; hour-glass figure, long legs, large breasts. She was undoubtedly beautiful, until you noticed that her face was missing.
      No, not missing.
      Her head was twisted around! You were staring at the back of her head, yet you were certain that the front of her body was facing you.
      The realization that you were staring far too long to be polite hit you, so you returned your glance to the shorter woman. She was clad in festive green colors; a pair of bows tied on either side of her straight, black hair, and a strapless fur-trimmed dress. Her contrasting red eyes and face-paint reminded you of Christmas. Dangling from each earlobe were a pair of tiny sheathed daggers, which matched with the larger exotic dagger strapped to her hip.
      Your master cleared his throat, though you didn't understand why he would need to do that, considering how he didn't need to breathe. (Perhaps it was just an audible sound he created through a broadcast of telepathy?) Regardless, he caught everyone's attention, to which he stated, “It seems that everyone is accounted for. We should quickly run through introductions, so that ____ recognizes her allies.”
      At that, your master's brother stepped forward, adjusting the long collars of his trench coat, “The name's Sexual-Offenderman.” He leaned down and reached for your hand, raising it up and kissing your knuckles, “I much prefer that the ladies called me 'Smexy'.”
      “I can see your dick peeking out,” the childish voice of the festive woman irked from behind.
      Your face flushed red at the realization that Smexy had no other clothing than his trench coat. One wrong glance at him at the wrong time would give you far more of the being than you could ever ask for. He straightened out, stepping back from you with a shameless grin.
      “That raunchy midget,” Smexy tossed back a thumb in the shortest woman's direction, “is Bridget the Midget.”
      “I'm an elf,” Bridget corrected. “And not one of Tolkien's elves, either. Those aren't real.” She drew her exotic dagger and pointed it straight to you, “Real elves steal children and eat their flesh! We don't care about hugging trees and shit.”
      You gulped, making a note not to even call this woman a midget – to stay on her good side.
      “Come now, Bridget,” came a tantalizing voice from the tallest woman. “You have to admit, Tolkien's elves are rather attractive.” She spun around on one heel, raising her head up so that her brushed-forward, blonde hair parted like curtains to a stage show. She didn't completely reveal her face, leaving it still somewhat hidden by a thin layer of hair. “I wouldn't mind sucking the life out of their beautiful faces,” a pair of short, bulky appendages fidgeted hungrily where a human's mouth should be. You also noticed how dark the area of her eyes were. They seemed far darker than they should be, even with the hair casting its thin shadow.
      While Bridget huffed at the strange woman's statements, Smexy continued to take care of the introductions, “This fine piece of ass is Cata Wampus.”
      “Just call me 'Cat',” the blonde tilted her hips and crossed her arms over her chest. Thank goodness for the strap crossing over her breasts, or they would have surely popped out of the revealing red dress.
      Smexy leaned forward again, this time placing a flat hand between his mouth and Cat as he whispered, “Just don't kiss her. It's a whole other ride up there.”
      “You have telepathy, Smexy,” Cat growled. “Why do you insist on mocking me aloud?”
      “Mock you?” Smexy rushed to Cat's side and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her hips tight against his. “I'm just giving fair warning to the ally, baby-Cat.”
      While Sexual-Offenderman and Cata Wampus settled things with obscene sexual foreplay, you tried your best to ignore it. Slenderman was looking increasingly irritated as it went on much longer than necessary. The stout woman, who you only knew as 'Isa', rolled her eyes and stepped forward, “My name is Isadora Deves. I'm sure you heard me referred to as 'Isa' earlier. Either reference is allowable. She aimed a finger to direct behind you, “And that is our house pet, Seed Eater. He prefers children as meals, but he doesn't mind killing whatever we tell him to.”
      “R-right,” you took in a deep breath and sighed, trying to get rid of the tension you had built up with all that was going on. 
      “Shit!” Smexy exploded with rage as he pushed Cat aside. “Motherfucker!” He turned to Slenderman, white tendrils sprouting from his back, “The Zalgoids made a move! My Proxies are taking heat!” At that, Smexy latched a tendril on all four of his residents before they disappeared.
      Slenderman sprouted his black tendrils, looking far calmer than his brother, “Offender's Proxies look nothing like the Zalgoids, ____.” His lacking face was aimed straight at you. “The Zalgoids will be naked and have multiple mouths on various places of their bodies. Kill them.” Before you could request further clarification, the scenery and air changed around you with zero warning. You had to take a moment to recover and allow your mind to adjust.
      Things were moving way too fast now, making your heart race in panic. A hand gripped your arm and pulled you with it as your eyes focused just in time to see a glance of several red and black demons hopping around and taunting your allies like giddy tricksters. The crackling of burning leaves and brush filled your ears and you noticed spots of fire here and there. You turned to see who was leading you away, finding that it was Masky. He, Hoodie, and Ticci-Toby were escaping to a thick area of foliage nearby. “We need to scope the area first,” Masky called back to you, knowing you had plenty of questions running through your head. “It's going to take all four of us to take one Zalgoid down.”
      Your heart sank at the thought of how difficult this was going to be.
      All four of you crouched behind the cover of bushes and young trees, peeking through to gather the situation. Toby already had his gun drawn. Hoodie was looking over his own, making sure it would function at a moment's notice. Masky lifted his gun from over his head, readying it to action. You decided to do the same, just in case things got worse.
      “One of Offender's P-Proxies is down,” Toby stated. “Looks b-bad.”
      “They'll need help,” Masky added. “But it looks like we'll have a Zalgoid for our own group to deal with.”
      Hoodie shifted in his spot, “Let Offender take care of his Proxies. If we finish our guy before that, then we'll go help.”
      “Can't we just-” You tried to make your own input, but the rest of your teammates agreed to Hoodie's suggestion and moved out from around the bush. You didn't have much choice but to follow instructions. At least you wouldn't be performing any close combat, so long as you could keep your distance with the holy water gun.