We had been driving for 13 miles before I realized how silent we both had been. It felt like we had been driving much longer. I was lost in thought, but upon noticing it, I couldn't even remember what I was concentrating so hard on.
"When do we figure out where we are going?" I asked Colin. Kind of absurd that I was asking him this question seeing as how I am the one who proposed this spontaneous trip to God knows where.
He didn't look at me, just kept his eyes on the road and smirked.
"I didn't know if I should ask. Or if I wanted to...It might take away from the thrill of not knowing.." He replied.
I stiffened in my seat then relaxed as soon as I could after doing so, I didn't want him to think I didn't have a plan. That when it came down to it, I was acting borderline crazy.
His smirk broadened across his face, forming a full smile.
"I know you don't know where you..well now, we...are going. You aren't very good at hiding how tense you are right now. " He said.
Now a smile was forming on my face. Typical scenario.
I thought of what to say next but decided that nothing had to be said. Colin scrolled through the Ipod hooked up to my car stereo and selected a song. I took it as a non-verbal agreeance that nothing more needed to be said on the subject...
At least for now.
The last hour or so of the ride had gone seemingly quick. I felt oddly relaxed and content being seated in the driver seat, aimlessly driving. I still hadn't decided if I should turn around at any given moment, head home and let these feeling to flee disappear. Something in me knew that this urge probably wouldn't subside so easily and that I should push on. Either that, or I was just doing good at keeping it off of my mind. In the most irresponsible effort, I smothered the small thoughts trying to make me reason and pull off the road or turn around.
It was only a little passed two a.m. I began to wonder if Timothy or Emmie were home yet. If so, neither of them would have noticed my absence. They were probably both crawling into their beds, ready to sleep off whatever alcohol they had just spent their night consuming. I never understood why my parents looked passed their partying and drinking...Especially for Emmie, who was only sixteen. I even found it unfair, on account of all the times I had been grounded for frequenting any kickbacks I had been invited too.
Both Timothy and Emmie argued the most, yet bonded the most. They were so near in age that they essentially grew up as if they were twins. We all were really close, but they were insuperable. Sometimes I even envied the bond they had, and while I knew that I was super close to them, I occasionally secretly wished I had that bond with them. But I enjoyed my independence, and being the eldest sibling I grew up before and sometimes on my own from them- from everyone. I was the poster child for the, "practice child." And often opted out of my parents parenting skills or advice.
Thinking about them was dangerous ground in my mind as I started to feel a spark of panic well up. I smothered it and without thinking about it, began to hum along to the song that was playing. This threw Colin off, from the corner of my eye I saw him startle a bit when my humming became the only other audible noise in the car aside from the music or the sound of the road. For a moment I found this odd that Colin jumped, as if he too was lost in somewhat troubling thought. He just peered over at me, smiling over the unplanned humming then began to softly sing. I dismissed the previous thought and joined in on the singing.
This continued on for about another five or six songs before we approached an upcoming off ramp leading to a small town offering food, gas and lodge.
