The Long Way Home

Chapter 2

It was morning. I barely slept that night. I hopped in the front seat and took off the sunshade blocking the front view of the car. I got an atlas from the back of the car and laid it on the dashboard. I had only been out of Vermont a few times, to either go to New York or Massachusetts. Never outside of the Eastern Time Zone. I've always wanted to go to the west-coast, to good ol' California. Less interesting states like North Dakota, Wisconsin, and Idaho also seemed interesting to me. I started to write down these states on a spare piece of paper in the car, with a red marker that I was surprised that worked after all these years.

I got out of the car, making sure I took my wallet. The 7-11 must have had a fruit cup or something I could eat. I grabbed a strawberry fruit cup and a breakfast bar for later and went to the counter. A woman, probably about 23, scanned the items. "Five dollars please," she said with a smile. I took a 5 dollar bill out of my wallet and took my food with a nod. I started to walk away until I heard her voice again. "I saw your car out in the parking lot for a long time. Is everything okay?" she asked. I turned towards her and froze up. There was no way I was telling her I was kicked out. She'd assume terrible things about the religion and yell at me for being "one of them." I cleared my throat. "It's nothing," I replied. "I'm okay, I promise." She looked weary still but nodded. "Okay, go on your way then, I wish you well," she said.

I started the car and drove out of the parking lot. Shit. There was one thing I realized. I wouldn't know where to go. Yeah I had a phone, but it was only able to call and text people. My parents took away my actual phone after the Jax incident, saying that there was no reason to have one. I saw a gas station and parked in it. I didn't want to interact with anyone else, I just stopped here to look at the atlas. I flipped the pages until I found Vermont. I lived in Readsboro, which was a town close to Massachusetts. I didn't know where I'd go from there but I'd figure it out. I'd just have to follow the road near the river until I got into Massachusetts.

I started to drive, I looked, seeing the reservoir next to me. The water was a comforting sight. The water was calm and peaceful, just another beautiful thing Jehovah created. The river was the place I tried to take my life. Once Kevin died, I went on a walk, since our house was near it somewhat, a mile down. I remember putting my feet in the water, it was freezing, that day in December. I remember pushing myself into the water, hoping that I'd drown. A local woman from our congregation probably saw me on her morning drive, because the next thing I remember was being pulled out and gasping for air.

My hands shook on the steering wheel, remembering that attempt. The woman screaming and yelling "Cole please! Jehovah save him!" The sound of her phone dialing 911. I drove some more, driving away from the memories. I'd been driving for about 30 minutes until I reached a sign, welcoming me to the state. I drove towards a visitor's area. I just sat there in the parking lot of the visitor's area, not knowing where I should go.

The atlas wasn't going to help, I couldn't look at the small print and then drive at the same time. I realized that this was a collector's item that my brother got for his baptism. He loved maps and atlases. I got out of the car and went to the visitor's center building. I decided that I'd sell the atlas and get enough money for a GPS. It was hard giving up something that was my brother's, but I had the whole car to remind me of him. A man was standing behind the desk of the visitor's center. "Sir," I said, "do you know if there's a pawn shop around here?" I asked. He looked up at me. "Yeah. Just follow the road you got off to get here and drive down for 15 minutes. There will be a turn, the first turn in this road, follow that until you see signs for Maurice's Thrift and Pawn Shop." he said in a gruff voice.

I walked to my car, thanking him with a nod, and got in. I drove down until I saw the turn in the road that he mentioned. I turned and looked for signs for Maurice's Thrift and Pawn Shop. I saw one, telling me to go to the next left turn. I did that and ended up near a building with the name on it. There was several antiques on the front lawn. I parked my car and walked in with the atlas. As I opened the door a bell rang. An old colored woman looked up at me and smiled. "Hello there," she said. I walked up to her. "Hey, I was wondering if you would give me money if I sold you this atlas. It's a collector's item and I need the money to buy myself a GPS," I explained.

She took the atlas and looked at it, skimming the pages to see if there was any rips or tears. "This is in perfect condition and they don't make these anymore! We have a GPS for around $35 and I would give you $40 for this map, so here's $5. Let me get the GPS," she said, giving me a 5 dollar bill. She walked around, skimming for a GPS. She grabbed one along with the batteries it needed. "Here, try it out," she said. I put the batteries in and typed in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for a test. "Turn right on Chestnut Street," the GPS told me. I turned it off. "Thank you, have a nice day," I told the woman. She smiled and I left the building, walking to my car.