BIG PLANS ( jack. )

part 1 ↝ dear lavender

dear lavender,

its your dad here. 

me writing a you that hasn't even grown up yet probably sounds stupid, but my therapist says i need to do this.

you were a little bit of a surprise, im not going to lie!

your mom and i didn't know what to do, but we knew we were going to love you. every single part of you.

i have big plans for you.

ill hide you away from the world, and every piece of shit that comes with it. you'll go to a good school and grow up to be whatever you want. you'll find a man who will never be good enough for you in my eyes. you'll have kids, ones you plan and are ready for.

if im still alive when you are reading this, tell me how you turned out.

but know this: you are the best thing to ever happen to me. 

i know i massively screwed up as your father. i was never around, always touring. your mom and i weren't married. 

i was terrible. and im sorry. ill be better.

listen, you won't remember this, but i missed out on a chunk of your teenhood. you're mom and were just having a disagreement. she and my therapist both agreed if i stayed away for a while. and i had the comeback tour.

but i came back, and am getting better.  

i love you, lavy.