Back To You

Simula

Ito ang Simula. Sana ay magtuloy-tuloy na 'to.

"Smile more, Margie..." Zafel whispered. His breath smells like a mixture of mint and whiskey. Nakikiliti ako tuwing ginagawa niya iyon. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. Takot na magkaroon espasyo sa pagitan naming dalawa.

Every models are required to bring their date in the fashion ball. Hindi ako rarampa mamaya ngunit isa ako sa napiling vip para sa event na gaganapin. My opinions and perspective towards the models will matter said by the famous event organizer, Brent Phrimvalt.

"You look so sweet together, Madame M! Are you a couple?" Tanong ng isang showbiz reporter.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes secretly. They didn't notice it since I bowed my head and the volumized hair acted as the curtain to hide my hostility.

"We are engage, Enrich. We'll get married in 5 months." Zafel proudly said. The 2 shots of whiskey made my optimistic fiancee more confident than ever.

Believe it or not, we are engage in 7 years. Wala namang mali sa kanya para sa akin. It's just that my auntie wanted me to get married early so she can get one of the highest position in Zafel's company.

However, I refused to the proposal. But Zafel offered that he will wait until I'm ready.

Hindi naman siya hindi madaling magustuhan. He's lean, handsome and ambitious. There's no reason not to like him. Narealize ko 'yon ilang taon na ang nakalipas that's why I accepted the marriage proposal.

"Let's go." He said. I am wearing a royal blue backless sequin gown and his arms are warm as his breath. Making me not shiver to cold. But I am not comfortable. I don't feel so safe. And it seems something is missing. Something is lost. And I don't know what is it.

Pinaupo na kami sa harapan. Marami-rami na rin ang mga bisita. May mga nagroroam na mga waiter na may dalang champagne. Zafel raised his hand at the waiter. Binigyan kami isa isa.

"You look so gorgeous than ever Margie." He silently complimented. I made a face.

"Ganito mo rin ba bolahin mga past time whores mo?" I smirked.

Nanlaki bahagya ang mata niya at humalakhak. "You are my only woman, Margie. Those are just my flings."

I rolled my eyes. Kahit noong una pa kami magkakilala ay marami na siyang babae. Wala naman akong pakialam. He can enjoy his youth. Pinagkasundo pa lang kami noon kaya hindi kami nagseseryoso. He likes me though but I just make fun of it.

"Don't worry, ikaw na ang dulo ko. I won't be a womanizer kung ikakasal na ako sayo."

"Sakal kamo."

Natawa na lang ulit siya at ininom ang champagne na nasa champage flute.

The runaway started at 5 pm. Famous fashion designers were introduced as their models showcase the designs. I even met Esme Chrysion, a famous swiss fashion designer. I once became a model in bikini line.

She went to me. "Margie! It's good to see you again. How's Europe?"

"It was fun, miss Esme." I replied.

"When will you be free again to model mine? Those would always look fabulous on you!"

I smiled. "Maybe next month, miss Esme. After the clothing line of Valentina."

"Oh my! Sure. I actually met her awhile ago. And she was so proud to say you model her clothing line. Anyway, got to assist my models, Margie. See you!" Her tanned legs shined as she turned around. The long slit looked perfect on her.

The runaway ended with the speech of a fashion designer.

Her ash gray medium length hair compliments her milklike skintone. I checked mine. I'm in between fair and bronze.

Her beige cocktail dress enhanced her cup c breast. I looked at mine. I consider myself flat chested. Pero meron naman ako kahit papaano. Nadadala lang minsan ng push up bra sa photoshoots.

And that face... noong namigay ng shares si Aphrodite sa mga tao, mukhang sinalo niya na lahat.

What the hell?

Why am I comparing myself to her?

I don't know but just a thought of her lowers my confidence. Mabuti na lang marunong akong magmaskara. I know how to compose myself.

Showing your emotions make you weak. They will use it against you. To destroy you.

The feeling is familiar. The memories I buried long ago punch my heart. I sighed. He will never face me again. Siguro kapag magkita kami, isusuka niya ako. Mandidiri siya. He will look at me full of anger and disgust. Hindi na ako masosorpresa kung maghihiganti siya. Because I deserve it. Alam kong kahit ilang beses akong humingi ng patawad, hindi na niya ito tatanggapin.

I scarred her heart and ego before. Who would accept me?

"I, Dahlia Savannah Ocean, would like to thank you for letting me showcase my designs. Thank you so much." Nagpalakpakan ang lahat. The host compliments her.

"Your extravagant and breathtaking designs are like you, Miss Dahlia."

Her nude lips streched. Ni isang wrinkles ay wala kang makikita sa kanya. She's too pretty I can't breathe.

"Also..." She paused for awhile. Nanahimik ang mga bisita. Most of them are entrepreneurs, vip bloggers and filthy rich businessman. "I would like to thank Mr. Sullivan Verdejo for the sponsorships and donations in this event. He is a part of my journey. And I am looking forward for us."
Kahit nanginginig na ay kinaya kong lumingon.

Nanlamig ako bigla. Tila may lumukot sa puso ko. Dahan dahan para habang mas tumatagal, mas sumasakit. Nakakahilo. Nakakapanindig balahibo.

What... the fuck

What the fuck?

Sullivan Verdejo...

His name still gives me shivers. When we were young, it was a sweet shiver. Like an excitement. Kapag tinatawag ko iyon, nagsisiliparan ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko. But now, it possess horror and superiority.

He smiled a little at Dahlia Ocean.

No... Oh my goodness. He's here. He's freaking here!

What should I do?! Think Margarita!

Napayuko ako. Takot na malingunan o makita niya. Natatakot ako. Ang laki ng kasalanan ko sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon ay hinahabol pa rin ako ng konsenya. Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas. I tries so hard to forget but he never leaves my mind.

Kahit nininerbyos ay nakaya ko pang magsalita. "Powder room." Paalam ko kay Zafel.

Mukhang nakahalata siya. "Are you okay?"

Mabilisan akong tumango. "Yeah. Retouch lang." Umoo naman siya kaya agad na akong dumiretso.

I managed to compose myself hanggang sa makapasok sa cubicle. Dahan dahan akong napaluhod. Nanginginig, natatakot, naduduwag at nasasaktan.

He's not just Sullivan. He was my Sullivan and he loved me first.