Reminiscence of Existence

Chapter 27

"I don't care about your company. All I know is that my supplies would never stop and you could give it to me whenever I asked for it. Come on, Teerasak, you were better than this." Adisak was talking on his phone while he was in a high club private room. It was a club for higher people with the environment classier and the club were designed in more sophisticated way, and it provides more private spaces for private activities. Adisak was in one of those private areas, with a girl in one side, and a cute boy in another side, flirting and seducing him. They both would glare at each other, competing who would have Adisak for tonight.

"I know, I'm just telling you my situation, but it will not affect my supplies to you. I just didn't want you to hear any rumors about me, so I'm telling you." Teerasak was telling him what had happened earlier that day. They would talk some more before cut off the call. Right after, Teerasak had received a message from someone he shouldn't but he just felt like it was another entertainment for him, but after a while, it wasn't that entertain anymore, more like that person was clinging to him, so he just go with the flow. It was a good weapon when needed anyway.

'Can't come to my place anymore. He'll be living here. Let's talk later.'

He would just turn off his phone without replying to the message and focus to two entertainment beside him, who keep seducing him nonstop. In fact, those two doesn't have to compete, since a person with a big lust as Adisak would settle with them both at a time, and that was what they were doing right after. Not without his man and the camera, and both the girl and the boy seems didn't mind that much about the camera, or maybe they were expected that as much. But later, Adisak would not forget to let his man had the taste of the boy and the girl too. That was their reward, beside the pay.

It was after dinner, and Teerasak was already leaving the house. Godt felt a little sad. It was stupid, he knew, but what Teerasak was saying was all true. He wanted it to be true. He love the guy just like he would love a father and he wished the guy could care about him just like a father to a son. He guesses it was too much to ask for. "What are you thinking about?" Copter was taking a seat on another chair beside him, at the balcony of his room. He wouldn't wear spectacles nowadays, but wearing contact lens, for it would be easier to move around whenever Godt needed him. "Nothing much. How's uncle?" Godt wouldn't want to talk about it, so he was changing the topic.

"Pa already taking dinner and medicine. He was resting and it would take time before he fall asleep, but everything was fine. What about you?" Godt was smiling, still dodging the topic. "There's nothing, really." Copter's expression was unreadable, but it sure wasn't a good one, Godt knows that. How amazing was that, even they would just know each other for a short time, but it felt like they were known and befriend for ages, that they could tell each other's meant just by looking at each other's expressions.

"You know Godt, you always care for me, and telling me you wanted to be friend and stuff, but it was you who actually didn't treat me like a friend. I know there was something, though I know I can't help much, but I hope you can be honest with me, Godt." Copter was talking while alternately looking at Godt and the sky up ahead that filled with star, but no moon around. In the end of his sentence, he would look straight in the Godt's amber eyes, and once again he was drowning in it. No matter how beautiful the stars up ahead, the amber eyes in front of him was the one captivating him almost all the time.

"What about you, Cop? Have you been honest with me? You know I'm still waiting for you, right? I'm still waiting for your answer. It doesn't matter how much time will you make me waiting, but have you ever consider me at all, Cop?" Godt's reply was taking Copter off guard. It didn't cross his mind that his words would be used back against him. But Godt was right, he did know the guy was waiting, but he was still taking his time. Copter went silent over that, and all he could do was looking down. He still didn't have any answer to give the guy.

Godt was up from his seat and he came closer to Copter and stop right in front of him while bending down. It was hard for him because it will stress his wound in this position, but he need to do this. He just knew he needs to do this. Once he was kneeling in front of Copter's chair, he was cupping the guy's chin while pulling up Copter's face to look at him. "What's keeping you away from me, Cop? Am I not good enough for you?"

"No!" Godt was surprised to the sudden high-pitch answer from Copter, but he keeps his expression the same, waiting for Copter to tell him more. Copter was taking a deep breath in before continues. "Please, don't think that way. If anything, it was because you are too perfect for me. I was the one who will never be good enough to someone like you, Godt." Copter's eyes were watery while saying that. Godt didn't know what to think of that. Was it a rejection or was it an acceptance? Godt would just touching Copter's face softly with his finger while he was looking deep into watery brown colour eyes, threatening to fall his teardrops anytime soon.

Godt wasn't sure of anything or might wasn't even realized what he was doing, but he was leaning slowly and slowly to Copter's direction, while his eyes would never leave Copter's. They both were drowning into each other's eyes with so many emotions intact, churning inside each of these two boys soul. Godt was leaning until his lips would meet another moist lips and it would stay there for a while. Godt was waiting for any reaction, and after a while, Copter was kissing him back with the tears falling at the same time.

The kisses was full of emotions, it was soft yet it was strong and it was beautiful that which last for quite some time, until both of them would demand of air to fill their lungs, only the kisses were stop. Godt would put his forehead on Copter's forehead while they both were panting hard. Later, he would wipe copter's tears with both of his thumb. "I love you, Copter. I really do." He was dropping the 'L' word that he was keeping all these times. He thought this was the right moment but he could see Copter was still silent looking straight at him.

"Why me, Godt? I was trying to deny every feelings I had towards you, but in the end, I'm losing it. But I was afraid, Godt. I'm a broken man. Being a broken man, to be broke once again will be killing me. I was afraid of you getting bored to someone like me at some point. I don't know what to do, Godt." Copter's tears wouldn't stop falling. And it wasn't the only reason he was afraid. He was afraid of his own feeling. He was actually afraid of himself the most.

End of Chapter 27