how life is

Wishing they were here...

Isabel's POV

"50 more days til my birthday", I thought. I wasn't all that excited honestly,  but I was happy.

Life is a load of shit right now, I lost my bestest close friend who I thought would always be there for me ended up believing a fucking liar who was telling bull- I stopped thinking about her and that and started fixing things around my room. Removing old pictures, hanging christmas lights, fixing everything...

I grab all the pictures and looked at them one last time... "We look so happy"  I thought, just looking at them started making me tear up. I couldn't take it, I screamed, ripped it up, in fact I ripped them all up and broke down in tears... hours and hours I sat there feeling pathetic, lonely,  hurt and broken. I got up and went to the bathroom looking at myself,

You're okay, you're okay. 
No you're not, you look like a wreck. It was true. My makeup was smeared and I had big eye bags underneath my eyes and it looked as if I haven't slept in days, cause I didnt. I grabbed a razor from my cabinet and looked at my wrist then the razor then back at myself...
Do it, take away the pain.
No, dont, your still young, you can get through it, you still have luke, Annie, jake, ari and chloe.

I put the razor back and covered my wrist. I took a shower, put on clothes (which I wore a nirvana tank, black jeans, boots, chocker necklace, and a bunch of thick band braclets to cover my cuts[A/N: sorry idk what they're called agh]), then went to the bathroom brushed my teeth, and just put concealer to cover my eyebags, chapstick and then put eyeliner.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and made some hot chocolate, hot chocolate was what my parents would always make for me and my brother and sister in the winter every morning. We'd laugh, sometimes too much tears come out of our eyes. Our bond was so strong we were all at least like each others best friends.

My parents weren't like any other parents, they were chill, they wouldn't mind what we do as long as we do what we have to do, know what not to do, keep out grades up and call once in a while if we go out. I was the youngest, then my sister who would be 17 right now, she was so popular. She was a cheerleader but also one of the most smartest students. She was so pretty and sometimes people wouldn't believe me when I say were sisters but she got me. In school she takes school seriously serious. She's always there for me and would always have my back no matter what, I would always ask her for advice about anything that would happen and most of the time she'd be useful, but I loved her so much. Then theres the oldest one, my brother Maxs. Maxs as well was popular, quarterback football player, and like my sister really smart. He was good looking to others and some people wouldn't believe I was his sister, but he'd always stick with me and got my back. Whenever he'd see me cry about a guy he would keep saying "who did this to you, ill pound em, they shouldn't hurt you, me and luke and jake got your back", he'd always make me laugh and smile.

2013, Car skids on the Icy Road and crashes into the big trees in the woods, Mr. and Mrs. necks were broken and badly bruised, their 16 year old daughter Macy Smith flew through the window and ender with a cracked skull, and broken ribs, 17 year old son Maxs Smith,  broken neck, hit the tree sideways broke his bones, 15 year old daughter Isabel Smith hits her head on the seat and window and broke her arm. All died but 15 year old Isabel Smith still in the hospital. Their parents were taking them to a suprise trip.

Thats all I see and think when I look our picture tears come out of my eyes so fast but I wipe them off quickly. I drink my hot chocolate then put it in the sink.
im all alone, the house was so big now that I look at it.

I miss you guys , I whisper