A/N to make up for not updating the other story I decided to post this one shot. I've got like 10 of them saved in my notes on my phone. School has been super hard. It is taking up all of my time. So until it starts to lighten up the other story is on hiatus.
It's like clock work. Every night. Same time. Same routine. 3am rolls around and I wait for that call. Every part of me wants to say no but for some unknown reason I find myself typing in the security code to her gate and driving the long distance up to her house. You'd think by now I would have learned my lesson. Every time I find her she's beyond wasted. I couldn't imagine living the way she does. I guess it works for her. I always thought or much less hoped that I could be the reason she stopped all of this. That's wishful thinking nowadays. I have to put a stop to this. I don't know how much longer I can do this. It's physically and emotionally draining me. Everyone can see what's going on but not a damn person does anything about it. Makes me sick to my stomach that they just let this go on. All anyone cares about is if they get their paycheck. They don't care that she's self destructing right in front of their eyes. I slowly exit my car and make my way to the front door. I know what needs to be done tonight. I brace myself for what's to come as I open her door. I stopped knocking along time ago. I found her sitting at her piano with a bottle of jack in her hand as she used the other hand to tap a few keys. I touched her shoulder and she looked up at me and smiled so beautifully. I forgot completely what I came over for. I leaned down and kissed her and as I tasted the alcohol on her lips I immediately remembered what was going to happen and pulled away. I began to walk to her couch and she caught the drift and followed me.
"Demi I can't anymore"
She frowned as she took a seat next to me.
"What do you mean you can't do this?" She asked.
"I can't keep watching you do this to yourself" I finally looked up at her. I couldn't read her facial expression. She just looked so empty.
"Well sounds like we have a problem now don't we" she told me sarcastically.
"Listen I don't want to fight. All that I ask is that you please just stop. Get some help. How much longer do you think you can do this until you finally over do it and it's all over?" I angrily asked
"Look Selena I really don't feel like having this conversation. Either you're going to put out or you're going to get out". I just looked at her wide eyed. Did she really just say that to me?
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Put out or get out" she smirked at me as she got up to get her bottle of jack. I got up and immediately snatched the bottle out of her hand.
"You're kidding me right?!" I screamed at her.
"You don't get it sel, I am way past the point of being helped. I've hit rock bottom and honestly it just doesn't seem worth it to start climbing back up"
"Am I not with climbing back up?" I whispered as I sat the bottle back down. I looked back up at her but she wouldn't look me in the eyes.
"Selena don't"
"I can't save you if you don't let me Demi"
"Believe me Selena I'm way past saving"
"Why can't I just try?"
"It'll break you."
"So this is it you're just done?"
"It's what's best Selena I'm sorry"
"No fuck you. You're sorry? Quit being a fuckin coward" I knew at that point I had really pissed her off. She hated being told that she was weak. She knew that she was weak. She knew that she needed help but she just wouldn't accept it from anyone.
"What did you just say?!" She was now screaming. This conversation was going nowhere.
"Demi what the hell happened?"
"Everything happened Selena. Every fucking thing. Everybody wants something. They take and take and take and I have nothing left to give. Do you think I enjoy this shit?" By now the tears were just streaming down her face.
"Honestly-"
"Don't you dare for one second think that I like doing this. I'm hopelessly and unconditionally in love with you. I've been in love with you since I was 16 years old. You are it for me but I have nothing to give you. You think I like doing this to you?!" She cut me off before I could even answer. "If you think for one fucking second that seeing you hurt and knowing I'm the reason for it is something I like you are dead wrong" by now we were a mere inches apart. Screaming in each other's faces. I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. I never took into consideration what all of this was doing to her. She was so fragile and broken. It killed me knowing that there was not much that I could do.
"Demi please just let help you. You are the love of my life. It physically hurts to know that you won't even let me try" I was crying by now as I leaned my forehead against hers. I closed my eyes and waited for her to answer. I felt her lips lightly brush mine for brief moment before she pulled back slightly.
"I'm so fucking scared sel. I don't know how to get better. How do I dig myself out?"
"I know baby, but we will get through this together. You are not alone here" I felt her smile as I pecked her lips.
"Together"
