Live life to the fullest, these are the words I lived by. We don't know if we still have enough time to do the things we want because life has no certainty. Giving all your love is not an assurance for stability, there's no guarantee in everything – even the person we love the most wouldn't stay with us forever. The only thing in this world that remains constant is change and it happens all the time.
At some point in my childhood, I realized that my parents were never going to get along ; the line had been drawn, so when my parents announced that they were filing for legal separation it wasn't a huge shock dahil alam ko na hindi na kailanman sila magkakaayos. Accepting their decision took long for me to get over with but as time passes, the grudges swiftly flows out little by little.
I grew up tired of hoping for a second chance that they would miraculously fall back in love with each other. Reconciliation is far too impossible to happen.
When I was growing up, it really bothers me not seeing them together because I wasn't used to it. When the annulment was final and both party accepted the agreement like child custody and financial support that's when they went separate ways.
My mother is always keeping her self occupied working day and night looking for an extra income. She is busier than ever but despite the toxic schedule, never at any point she failed to perform her responsibility as a mother, making sure that all is well before she leave for work.
My father as far as I know still send financial support on regular basis that goes directly into my bank account, my mother prefer it that way. She never asked for a single peso no matter the going gets tough. It's hard to imagine that the woman who took good care of you, who supervise and dedicate almost all her life nurturing is now desperately in need to earn just to sustain the basic requirement for living.
I haven't heard any news from my father. In fact, he rarely visit us and if he does, stays only less than an hour. It only shows that he doesn't seem to care anymore. I guess he's happy with his new found family, the sad part is – that doesn't include us.
How could his love for us gone so easily?
Slowly, I begin to feel the effect of our broken home. There would have times that I feel so discouraged,Why is this happening to us? Sa dinami rami ng tao sa mundo, bakit sa amin pa nangyari? These are question I asked God for an answer and as a result of crippling desperation, I reached the point of blaming God for the unfortunate circumstances. My faith runs dangerously low.
I used to have a perfect family, our house was once filled with love that is immeasurable. How could in just a blink of an eye, everything turn into battle cry?
I couldn't understand what bad thing happen for them to split up. At times, I agonized over it wondering what possibly could have been the reason why my parents quit loving each other? As I continue to relieve the memories, the pain in my heart adds up, tugs hard in my emotion as if itsgonna break into tiny little pieces.
Everyone has a story to tell. Unfortunately, mine is meant to be told to break your heart. As much as I want to start with a happy line, I couldn't.
I was ten years old when I witnessed a very frustrating scene, an stressful event that is hard to endure. My mother was sitting, tears are falling from her eyes like drops of rain. My father was standing near the couch, staring blankly outside the window. Silence filled the room, air is dense with tension. The only sound that can be heard is the ticking of the clock. I was a bit startled because that was unusual.
