Growing up never was easy. I had a single mom who did everything she could to make my sister Amanda and I happy. We went to catholic school had everything we could have. My relationship with my mom is amazing, like best friends, but with Amanda not so much. You would figure that having a sister who is only a year and a half older then would be great. You can have some to talk to, play with, do hair with, have the same friends and be best friends. Well I can tell you that's exactly the opposite of this sisters relationship. She would bully me, hit me, tell me she hated me, take my friends and often choke me in the middle of the night yelling she wished I was dead and she didn't have a sister. School for me was a struggle having to keep up with Amandas honor roll. I did what I could to get by but eventually as high school came around I got on the honor roll and played sports and started to get noticed. My mom had gotten remarried to this guy who wasn't so bad at first but then turned into an abusive drunk ass hole. I can still remember the first time he hit me. I was 9 years old siting on the couch and he had just come home from work. He walks down stairs out of the blue and grabs me by the hair and drags me up the stairs to were I'm crawling on my hands and knees and throws me on the bed and starts hitting me. Right then and there I had lost hope in life. I then began to cut. I cut so deep I had to get hospitalized. Iv been in and out of rehab for cutting but then I started to develop another addiction. Anorexia and sudden chronic panic disorder along with depression and drugs. I was 90lbs, suffering and struggling to go to school and work, dealing with getting beaten and on top of that i was trying to become something. Everyone knew me as happy, outgoing, laughing, making other people laugh and just having a good time. No body knew what was going on because I hid it very well. As time goes on from going in and out of rehabs I began to find myself. I started college at a culinary school were I laid eyes, on who I thought, was the love of my life. His name was darren and we got along perfect. All the girls wanted him but he picked me for some reason. As time went on I started to notice that he was acting funny. I found out he was doing drugs. He was the one who got me on them. When he did drugs he became angry, controlling and abusive. He became so abusive I almost died. He broke my nose, busted lip, black eyes and I had a blood clot in my head. It took awhile but i got him out of my life with the help of a great friend named Andrew. When Darren went to jail I had my friend Andrew with me the whole time but not because I asked but because he wanted to be there for me. As we hung out one night at a bar a lady came up to us and said, " you two are going to get married one day." I responded saying that he was my best friend and that was never going to happen. She turned and looked at both of us and said," trust me it will happen." We rolled are eyes and continued dancing. As days go by I was still cutting but had stopped for a while. Life was suddenly falling into place. I moved to a new city, Andrew came with me, my family was there for me other then my step dad, my sister and I became closer, I got a good job, went back to college and my life continued. On thanksgiving 2013 my best friend Andrew decided to propose to me in front of my family. Of course I said yes, I fell in love with him. The lady at the bar was right. We would get married. Here I am today with a new life that I couldn't get any better. Life can change. I am prof of that. I now share my story with kids everywhere and help them in a way people never helped me. I had to do on my own but I grew strong from it all. I am now a happy 20 year old who recovered from anorexia and drugs and self harm. I know you can do it.
