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Chapter 2

Dear Craine's Diary,

It is 4:00 in the morning but still I'm not asleep. I'm thinking how would my mother would feel if I just killed myself. If I will kill myself, there won't be a problem anymore.

I want to die now but I'm thinking that suicidal is not a good idea and not a good solution to any problems. Suicidal is a sin. I'm just thinking that I can do it as long as I have God by my side. I know that he's always here, by my side, guiding me.

Madaming tanong na pumapasok sa isip ko. Like, kung ibubully ba nila ako. If they want to be friends with me. Even the thought that napapaisip ako kung mapagkakatiwalaan ko ba sila.

Haaaaaay diary, I want to sleep right now pero hindi talaga ako dinadalaw ng antok. I'm thinking, I should cut my wrist. It could help. No, nevermind.

I stood up and walked through the bathroom. I washed my face and I stared at the mirror for a while, and start questioning my existence. My eyes became teary. I took a deep breath and washed my face again. After I did those things, I walked through my bed. I stared at my bed, there's something unusual on it.

Oh! I remembered. My phone is missing. I just left my phone above the bed before I went through the bathroom.

I ran through the bathroom to check kung nandoon yung phone ko pero wala din.

Tinignan ko yung loob ng cabinet ko pero wala. Even the bedside table wala din. Sa ilalim ng kama wala din.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto ko while examining the place. Pababa na sana ako pero may narinig akong nagsisigawan. It is very unusual for me to hear those sounds.

Naglalakad ako palapit sa kwarto ni mama. The door's half open. Sumilip ako. I know diary, it is bad na sumilip or makinig sa iba or something pero I'm very curious right now.

It is weird, there's a clothes on the floor. I saw mama's boyfriend, he's on the top of my mother.

I just ran paalis doon at bumaba then hinanap na yung phone ko. Dumiretso ako sa kitchen, I opened the fridge, kukunin ko na sana yung strawberry when something caught my attention.

Tupperware na kulay red. Kinuha ko iyon at binuksan. What the hell?! Bakit may intestines and organs ng tao dito?!

I closed the tupperware at ibabalik ko na dapat sa loob ng fridge when I heard someone, screaming.

Napatakbo nalang ako paakyat, dumiretso ako sa kwarto ni mama and I caught her smirking. She have knife on her hands. Her boyfriend was stabbed. Sa chest and sa may stomach.

Tumayo si mama at naglakad through her cabinet, she's finding something. It feels weird kasi di niya ko napapansin.
Kinuha niya yung tali. I just stared at her. Naglalakad siya papalapit sa direksyon ko.

I don't know what to do that time diary, akala ko itatali nya ko then papatayin kagaya nung ginawa niya sa boyfriend niyang mayabang.

Lumapit si mama sa may shelf niya malapit sa pinto kung saan ako nakasilip. May kinuha sya doon. A book? Anong gagawin nya sa libro?

She's still holding her knife with the rope and the book. Lumapit siya papunta sa kama para at umupo sa gilid non.

Tinali niya yung magkabilang kamay nung boyfriend niya sa both sides ng kama. Tinali niya din yung magkabilang paa nung boyfriend niya sa both sides ng kama.

After she did that, kinuha nya yung libro. She turned it to some pages tas nagbasa siya. Outloud.

Her words caught my attention again.

"Sorry my love, I needed to kill you. Don't worry, my daughter will be with you soon."

At those words, I think yung book na hawak niya is not literally a book na babasahin.

It is a book of hers. I think gawa niya yung book na iyon. I think it is her book, full of confessions and messages for her boyfriend.

Pagkatapos niyang basahan yung boyfriend niya. She grabbed her knife then walked through my direction. I thought she's going to kill me.

She put her knife into her shelf and grabbed her scissors. After that, she walked through the bed.

She cut her hair and made a bangs.

I took a deep breath and started to walk through my bed. It's strange. Nandoon na yung phone ko.

What the hell?