𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐆𝐮𝐲 ➺ 𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝑀𝒶𝓎 & 𝒬𝓊𝑒𝑒𝓃

(25) 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦

Hi guys. Here's another update! Thank you all for being so lovely and being patient with me, I know I have been lagging a bit, but I'm sure I have plenty of free time now, with quarantine and all. That being said, I hope you are all doing well and keeping yourself safe and healthy! Let's get through this together!

Without further ado, enjoy, my lovelies! <3

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I'm gonna die.

It's settled: this is my last day on Earth.

It was like my soul was ripped out of me as the train starting moving. Or when the doors shut. Or when the doors opened for me to get on. Fuck it, as this entire thing came into play.

I would have liked it if Brian accompanied me to Kings Cross, but he was busy with the boys, otherwise I am sure he would've. His career and his schedule couldn't be interrupted by me stropping about going home. I was really excited for Queen, knowing that they would be recording a whole album soon and their chances were quickly coming. People would finally be able to see them for who they were: beautiful, talented young lads with a passion to paint the world with their music.

The world passed by around me, progressively getting quicker to a point where there was no turning back. London would soon be miles and miles away from me and as a result, so would Brian. I was never one for long distance.

That morning, I'd gotten up earlier than needed so I could say a proper goodbye to everybody. Being drunk the night before meant I couldn't do that. Even Roger said goodbye, as we exchanged a hug. A real hug. I think, in a way, we enjoyed pissing each other off. Don't get me wrong, I fully hated him for what he did to my best friend, but I had to keep what Brian and Freddie said in mind: it's just Roger. Roger Taylor loved women and he loved sex. But he loved Emma. And Emma loved him. How could I interfere with that? I knew I would miss the little jabs we'd make at each other; it was familiar and it always made me laugh eventually, even if the initial insult punched a hole in my heart.

John gave me some wise words of wisdom, as he always did, telling me to try and understand my parents' point of view, should I need to do that. John was a quiet one, and I know I haven't mentioned him much. But John was just a force of serenity. Of course, those who knew him better than I did knew he was wild deep down, and it would be a privilege to get to know that side of John Deacon. I just hadn't had enough time with him to see that. Though, I wanted to. John's hair was always soft against my face when he hugged me, and it gave him cuddly qualities that I just adored.

From the average outsider, Freddie could have been my significant other with the way we acted together. Freddie adored me, and it was a mutual feeling. That man was unlike any person I had ever come across. Intimidating at first, but I'm sure you all know that Freddie was special and probably the nicest guy ever. If you don't have a special love for Freddie Mercury, you're insane. He clung to me like a koala whilst he told me to stay safe and give anyone a good kick-in if they gave me shit, or he would do it himself. His final words to me were 'stay fabulous', in true Freddie form.

Let's not even begin with how I was when saying goodbye to Brian and Emma. Yes, there was tension with Emma and yes, things weren't brilliant. But she was the person who allowed me to settle into the university surroundings. She was there for me when I was panicking, in tears and red in the face. She was there for me when I woke up in the middle of the night, needing to vent or when I felt like returning to my old ways of self-harm. She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. We were practically sisters. And this was the first time in a long time that I would be going back to Yorkshire without her. I was nervous to be separated from her, but I kept it together when it came to say goodbye to her. Saying goodbye to Brian, however, was a whole different story. He had witnessed every ounce of paranoia surrounding Christmas and he did whatever he could to make sure I wasn't stressing too much. Sometimes he may have been a bit overly attentive, but at the end of the day, he was my entire world and my entire world had been evolved around him. I just couldn't hold the tears in when I wrapped my arms around that poodle-man. He held me so close to him that we could have merged as one and disappeared into a fantasy land. But his soothing hushing and his silk-toned voice reminded me that I was still here and this was actually happening. He stayed with me for as long as he could before the boys had to leave, but the time I had with him was worth it.