first of all

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First rule to turn off your feelings that you should know the whole story, the reason why you need to turn it off, the causes of this act.
Yeah it was expected to judge me,and to say that I'm a selfish bitch , coward, weak .. but don't you think that you're a little bit harsh now with your judgment?
Do you think now that I'm wrong! It that I'm evil!
I mean is it wrong to finally make your decision ,your last decision and the only right decision who'll set you free ..
Is it wrong!!
So what do you think about those who let me down..those who upset me..those who made me feel lonely and who let me alone facing the odds and struggling in the dark..
What do you think about those who betrayed me,stab me in my back,talked behind me..those people whom I call them Buddha statue
What do you think about loving someone till changing yourself, make exceptions, make him a priority, make him the one and only, giving him everything, forgiving him and suddenly when you fall and get weaker made him far away,suddenly the only person you wanted to wake up and find him beside you is gone..
What about all this ? What about those act??
Am I the only person who's making sins?
Is it a sin to finally decide to choose yourself among helping people and loving them and find you in the end alone?
Is it wrong to choose me for the first time??
You know nothing about everything I've been through and you know nothing about how much I suffered by being the good person all the time and all I get is "I'm sorry"!!..
And surely you know nothing about the feelings that is inside of me because you didn't try what I've seen before..
So don't you ever dare to judge my decisions.
That girl is gone now ..
I learned to love myself and to make myself a priority and to choose me among everything..because getting hurt again and going through darkness all over again doesn't feel right dude..
So I decided to turn off those feelings..
There's only a little button on my brain's back I have to press it..
I'll never regret it..

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