FIVE YEARS OF WINTER (ZAINTSEE VERSION)

Five Years Of Winter

'Who needs winter when your heart is cold like one," Zee thought as he looked at the tall, white, and handsome guy standing among the crowd. Maybe because it was graduation day today so he was feeling a little nostalgic.

He confessed to that guy when they were in first year. It was actually a challenge from his friend. A stupid one. And he failed miserably, leaving a deep indent in his heart.

He could still hear the rejection like it was just yesterday. "I came here to study, to be a doctor. If you want to play a love game, seek somewhere else. I don't have time for this shit." The sharp glare and the harsh word cut him deeper than he expected.

It was just a stupid challenge, and he wasn't even gay to begin with. But he couldn't move pass the rejection. He couldn't hit on anyone else after that. He didn't know if it created some sort of phobia inside his head or he just genuinely lost interest in the flirting game.

Five years of unconsciously following the other guy with his eyes when he was within his sight.

Five years of pretending they were just, by chance, happen to be in the same group for every group work.

Five years of pretending he was okay with how they only talked about study, homework, assignments and lab reports.

Because that was what they were. Classmates. And that five years ended today.

"Zee, want to hang out with us tonight? With Mark, Joss and the others. Usual bar." Max tapped on his shoulder gently to gain his attention.

"Nah, I'm going straight home today. I promised my mom." He smiled.

"Oh, well then. Keep in touch okay. We are all living in the same city." Max hugged him, patting his back before pulling away seconds later.

"One more thing, I'm going to say this because it might be the last day you have this chance." Max paused, looking at Saint in the crowd. Zee's gaze automatically follow to where his winter was standing.

"You know, you should try to confess. Again. For real this time. Don't think we didn't notice what was happening in these five years. We're not judging you. It didn't matter if you date a woman or a man. While he is still there, you don't want to regret it your whole life. Be brave!" Max squeezed his shoulder.

Zee smiled bitterly. He didn't say anything to that. He looked down to his feet, puffing his cheeks. His chest felt heavy.

"See you buddy. Bye." Max tapped on his shoulder again.

"Nn." He just nodded as he bit his lip, unable to mutter anything because he was so overwhelmed with feelings he can't describe. It took him a few minutes to calm himself, closing his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Zee gazed for one last time to the person who occupied his mind and heart. Seeing him laughing and talking with his friends.

Yeah, Saint managed to get some good friends despite his cold behaviour, but sadly he was never one of them.

"Goodbye... Thank you for those five years of winter...,'" Zee whispered and he quickly turned around as his vision became blurry.

He walked away from the crowd as fast as he could, subtly trying to wipe away the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

"Fuck, why the hell am I crying? This is stupid. This is not manly at all. Shit."

He stopped his car at the Medical Faculty parking lot. The usual place. He took out his phone, and took a photo. Only to delete it a second later.

He get out of the car and walked to the bench under the nearby tree. It was shady, and a little windy. He sat down, gazing at the big building complex in front of him.

The view was better than from inside his car. All the memories came flooding one by one, like taking a walk down the memory lane. The five years of winter. He closed his eyes when he felt the tears were threatening to come out.

"Ask me again." A sweet voice startled him that made he snapped his head to his right. Saint sat down next to him with his eyes looking straight ahead instead of looking at him.

Zee blinked. He thought it was just his wishful thinking but it hurt when pinched himself. "You? How... what?"

Saint slowly turned to him, meeting his eyes. The gaze was so gently and full of love. 'I must be hallucinating...,' Zee thought.

For the first time Saint smiled at him, it was so charming and painfully sweet when he felt the other's hand gently caressing and tucking his hair behind his ear.

"The first question you asked me five years ago, ask me again." Saint whispered softly, still smiling, still gazing at him so tenderly.

Tears uncontrollably rolled down Zee's cheeks. "I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"I hate you. I really, really hate you." He wiped his tears but a new set of tears was ready to take over soon after. Saint just chuckled at his outburst.

Zee was startled when Saint cupped his face with both hands, gently wiping away the tears with his thumbs, locking their eyes together, "Yeah? Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

"I hate you."

"I take that as a yes." Saint smiled, as he leaned forward and before Zee could react a gentle kiss landed on his lips. His eyes fluttered closed as he slowly responded to the kiss, with his hands clutching on Saint's sleeves.

The moment they pulled away, he looked away, looking at anywhere but Saint's face.

"This is a public place, you shouldn't kiss me in public." Zee complained to cover his shyness.

Saint just smirked, "Why not? I waited five years for this."

"I really hate you."

"Yeah?"

"Nn."

They both ended up giggling and laughing. It was so surreal, but their interlocking fingers felt so warm, and so was his heart.

"I love you, Zee Pruk Panich."

"Yeah, I love you too."

His five years of winter were finally over. 

THE END