Something Different

Some Things To Know About Zombies

We have all seen them, shambling mounds of deranged former humans devouring the flesh of the living. They travel in hordes ever ready to attack the living. Some have limbs missing, others have jagged broken teeth. Reality is this simple creature known as the Zombie is misunderstood. I am going to list a few facts about our gentle friend you may not know.

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Most Zombies are not bad. In fact they are creatures full of wonderment.

Zombies find Zombie Films distasteful and demeaning. They feel the media has wrongfully persecuted  them. In fact they are planning to file a case Zombian Fleshy Court against the media.

If you read Judy Blume books to a zombie it will purr like a walrus and then recite greek poetry to you in it's natural language. This can be rather relaxing. Better than going to a spa or getting a massage, or so I have heard from a human friend.

Zombies prefer a diet of tofu and greens as opposed to flesh. They have never moaned brains, it was misinterpreted. The real moan was grains! Go if anyone out there is vegan, thumbs up! You can cope better as a zombie ;)

Zombies are major fans of Justin Bieber and will listen to him for days. Some scientist estimate that this is why they may be a little slow. In fact a recent remix of his 'Baby! Baby!' has been released in the zombian national language titled 'Brainy! Brainy! Brainy...Humans!'

On the original Night of the Living Dead, a zombie acted as corrospondant but he was drunk so all of the zombie lines sound distorted. Shame! Shame! Shame!. So as a punishment he was sentenced to act in many of the films as a drunkard and forced to speak the same language. Don't you think it is a bit too harsh?

Andy Dick was denied entry into the zombie union, they said he smelled too bad. Bath before a zombian meeting.

All zombies like to play four square but they call it grrrrrrrrrr.

If you shake hands with a zombie and the hand falls off, you get to keep it. They may come later to return the favor ;) Only you will lose both you hands. The chances of losing your hands is estimated by the economists to be about 63%.

Never whistle at a zombie girl, they find it in poor taste and will eat your soul.

A zombie in the hand is worth none in the bush. A zombie in front of you, is worth thousands in front of a vampiress. Vampiress have a special flavor to zombies, so they are will to pay thousands of dollars to eat the human brain in a zombie's stomach. Clique much?

All zombies love axe body spray.

Zombies dress as humans for Halloween.

Zombies never fail to leave a tip after eating a waiter. And by chance, if the manager comes to question them, they prefer to eat him also. So better to tip a zombie before, than after.

Zombies will always love you for your brains.

All zombies can break dance, they simply choose not to.

If you throw a marshmallow at a zombie it will simply look at you as if you were stupid. They refuse to play my coke rewards. They feel the prizes suck, and prefer 'Share your brain' or 'Brain or Flesh' *yup! Instead of truth or dare*.

All zombies have twitter accounts so they don't have to be on myspace

and finally, all zombies have a sense of humor! So if you want to see one, it is better to go watch a Jachie Chan movie, rather than the Avengers ;)

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[Youuuuuuuu better keep safe and stay alive, I guess]

[Vommentttttt, or else the whole zombian kingdom will vomit in front of your house! Which is better? You choose ;)]

[Ash ;)]