The Road to Forgiveness

Lost Souls

Can's mind was racing too fast for him to control himself.

"YOU?! You were driving the car that hit Sanem? What do you think you're doing here? Who do you think you are—"

Sanem had had enough, "Can, stop! Who do you think YOU are?"

Can turned to look at her, his crestfallen expression slightly stinging her before she reminded herself that he had broke her heart without a second thought. Her face remained neutral, masking the pain she felt in every pore of her body.

"Can, you have no right to question Yigit about what he is doing here. He's here because he wanted to make sure I was okay. Because unlike you, he felt upset and guilty for hurting me. He's here because I WANT him to be here. But now that I'm just like everyone else to you, I don't want YOU here. Go back to Polen. She may be willing to accept a man who never truly loved her. But I'm not."

Can couldn't help but feel gutted. Tears welled in his eyes. He had never seen this Sanem before. One who flatly rejected his concern and care, even before she confessed that she loved him. Then, she had tried to stay aloof but had welcomed, and even been responsive, to his affections. Now, it was as though he had been wiped from her heart. But it was her last statement and the smirk on Yigit's face visible from the corner of his eye that struck a nerve.

"Never loved you, Sanem? You were the first and only one I loved. But you betrayed me."

Sanem threw her hands up in exasperation. "Oh my gosh, Can! I did that for you! To protect you! Just leave! NOW!"

At that moment, Leyla walked into the room with what Can assumed was Sanem's doctor in tow. She stopped when she saw Can and Sanem's agitated state. She went to her sister's bedside and put a protective arm around her shoulders, as if to protect her from the love that spurned her.

"Sanemcim, you're allowed to go home, now. We'll go home and you can rest."

Sanem's face lit up. "Really?"

Sanem's doctor nodded in agreement. "Yes, Sanem, you are free to go home. You have to rest for a few days and make sure you don't strain yourself. Drink lots of fluids and avoid all kinds of stress."

Leyla gave Can a pointed glance and couldn't help but chime in. "I'll make sure she rests and avoids stress, Doktor Bey. Come on, Ablacim. Hadi."

Sanem held on to Leyla's hand as she began to stand, wincing in the process. She moved her free hand to massage the side of her neck. Seeing this, Can sprang to action.

"I can drive you both home."

Leyla shook her head. "No need, Can Bey. I will take Sanem home. She needs to rest."

Can looked on, helpless as Sanem walked past him without even glancing his way. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and turned in his direction. Can felt a kindling of hope inside but then she spoke.

"Thank you for coming to the hospital with me, Yigit."

Can was incredulous. Sanem was actually thanking this jerk even though he was the reason she was in the hospital in the first place!

Yigit responded with a hint of what Can could only describe as gloating. "It's my pleasure, Sanem. I'm just glad I could be there for you."

Sanem nodded, shot a fleeting and withering look at Can, and then turned around to leave with her sister.

With every step she took, Can felt her drifting further away from him. His life was walking away from him. But he had walked away from her first. He felt the knife she stabbed into his heart with her words slowly twist, sending shockwaves throughout his body. He needed to go home and be alone. If he didn't, he would do something to put Yigit in this very hospital.

He slowly strode out of the room, not even bothering to address Yigit at all.

Yigit narrowed his eyes as he watched Can leave the room, a malicious grin spreading on his face.

Let the games begin, he thought.

--

Sanem and Leyla entered the house. Leyla had her arm around Sanem's shoulder as she guided her younger sister to the entryway. They both removed their shoes and headed for the stairs just as their mother came to greet them.

"Sanem? Leyla? Ne oldu? Why are you holding onto each other? Are you hurt?"

Leyla went to speak when Sanem interrupted, "Hayir, Anne. I just stubbed my toe at work so my foot is paining a little. I'm just going to go upstairs to rest now."

Mevkibe looked a little suspicious but didn't press further. "Tamam, cocugum. Go rest and I will bring you some ice for your foot. Leyla, help your sister."

Leyla nodded, "Tamam, Anne."

Ten minutes later, Mevkibe had brought Sanem the ice and Leyla was helping Sanem get into bed.

"How are you feeling, Sanem? Do you want me to get you anything?"

Hearing this, the impact of the past 12 hours hit Sanem like a freight train. All the pain, stress, turmoil, and anxiety she had pushed down bubbled to the surface and her face crumpled. She covered her face with her hands to hide her tears but it didn't stop her shoulders from shaking.

"Abla," she cried.

Leyla, knowing what her sister was feeling, got into the bed next to her and held her as she wept. Sanem sobbed for her lost love, her lost dreams, and her lost future.

--

Can laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with his arms bent and hands cradling the back of his head. He couldn't get the day's events off his mind. He had a nagging feeling that he was the reason Sanem had been hit by that car. Their fight in the parking garage probably distracted her and that's what caused the accident. His heart had stopped when he heard that she was in the hospital. No matter how upset he was with her, he couldn't imagine a world without her in it. He couldn't even imagine his life without her in it. But he didn't know how to forgive her.

He understand why she gave the perfume to Fabri better now. She had wanted to protect him. But he still wished that he had told her when he got out of jail. He had felt blindsided and had lashed out. He didn't know how to fix this. He didn't know how to let her go. He just felt lost. He was drowning and Sanem, his lifeline, was no longer beside him.

He felt his eyes prick and his vision begin to blur as tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes, wetting his pillow. He turned to his side and wept as he never had before. He had to get Sanem back. He had to. He couldn't live this life without her. He just didn't know where to start.