My Friends Story

Cooper Is A Girl.

The look on Cooper's face after you exclaim in shock that he is a girl is priceless. For a moment he just stares at you. Finally you say
"I honestly could have sworn you were a dude. Gosh lady I don't know how to tell you this and I mean no offense but you are one ugly chick. I mean seriously I don't think any lipstick or mascara could fix you I'm sorry."
"That's okay. And it's honestly because I'm not a chick. I'm a dude." He says.
"But you just said that your name was Janet." You protest
"No it's Cooper. That was sarcasm." He replied.
"Anyway can we talk?"
"What about? Can we talk about kittens? The ones Isaiah has? Hee hee. Aren't they cute? Hee hee hee." You giggle. You and your online friend had an inside joke about Isaiah and kittens.
"Yeah but...." Cooper started but you interrupted him.
"Don't you think so Janet?"
You smile happily at him.
Cooper narrowed his eyes at you clearly annoyed.
"My name is Cooper, thank you very much. And no we are not talking about kitties."
He folds his arms across his chest.
"Uh..What are we talkin about then?" You ask.
"Are we talkin about Cheetos? Or Pretty bows?" Suddenly you hear a door slowly Creek open.
You flinch as you see the bathroom door open and Julie peek out at you. You gasp and hide behind Cooper. Juliana gives Cooper a confused look.
He mouths "it's okay I'm talking to her."
And Juliana nods and returns back inside.
"Or are we talking about how scary those kids are." You Mumble your voice barely above a whisper.
"I guess how scary those kids are." Cooper sighs. You nod and slowly come out from behind him. "Okay Janet. First of all why is the boys dressing room so dirty? I know you probably don't know this because you're like totally a girl and all but if you know anything, I would really like to know." There is a long awkward silence as Cooper stares at you with a bewildered look on his face.
"Wha...........? Ugh!!! No changing the subject. And the mess in here is honestly Freddy's fault." He at last says.
"I thought it was Shane's fault....." You Mumble.
"Nope it's freddys."
"But Freddy said that it was Shane's......did he lie? Is he a lying scary teenage slob?????" You demand.
"Freddy's not scary he's nice." Cooper said folding his hands peacefully.
"Maybe to you Janet. No doubt you are his girlfriend. but how do you think he treats every other girl in the world and how does he treat girls that he is particularly pissed at?? answer me that Janet?? Also do you have any Cheetos I'm hungry for them now." You smile happily at him.
Once again the look on Cooper's face is priceless. For a moment neither of you say anything.
"I'm not a girl and my name is Cooper! and if you want some Cheetos go ask king Cheeto himself he's just outside that door!" Cooper finally exclaimed.
"And me and him are not dating..... uhhhggg..." He mumbled.
"I don't want to go ask him!!! he's scary!!!" You cry out in terror.
"Why do you think Freddy's so scary?" Cooper asked. he lowered his voice to a soft tone in attempt to make sure you're okay.
"Because he cusses!!" You exclaim.
"I know. so what? it's only a choice of words." Cooper replies
"He's going to cuss me out!!!"
"Sit down"
"Huh?"
"Sit down." Cooper says. You sit down in the chair and Cooper sits in front of you.
"Okay now why would Freddie cuss you out?" He asks.
"I don't really know you very well I would really rather not say. You might be a fan of the........4th generation." You Mumble.
"It's okay just tell me I won't tell anyone I promise." Cooper says.
"Will you especially not tell any of the 2017 kids?" You ask.
He looks confused for a second.
"Yeah I.........guess......." He at last says.
"Okay I'm scared........of the 4th generation. And I think they're going to hate me because I used to hate them. I used to really hate their acapella and those jeans jackets they first wore. The jackets just look so lame to me.
Please don't hate me" You finally confess. You start to feel scared. You know you are not talking to a pretty girl named Janet. You've honestly known this the entire time. you were just too scared to admit it. But you cannot keep staying in denial. You immediately stand up to run.
"No no no no no no no I'm not mad!!!" Cooper cries grabbing your arm.
"Please just sit down!!"
"Your name isn't Janet is it?" You say quietly.
"Yeah. So what? I've been trying to tell you my real name this entire time!"
"You are a 2017 kid aren't you?"
"Yes. So what? Im not going to hurt you! just sit down!"
"No I'm done talking to you!!! In fact I'm done talking to all of you!!!" And with that you do the one thing you know will make him let you go. He's wearing long sleeves so you know you can't lick him. So instead.......you BITE him.