i don't know [kiribaku]

falling

I don't know why, but it was frustrating, and it hurt, and it was confusing, way more confusing than advanced-fucking-calculus.

The way the wind ruffled his hair, as he looked at me, softly smiling.

We were standing on a bridge, leaning against the railings, water rushing below us. I got a sense of Déjà Vu and dread at the same time, although I did not know why. I looked at him, he looked at me, and there we were, watching each other.

I was so confused. And that confusion hurt me, frustrated me, beat me up and gave me a black eye to remind me of how fucking weak I am.

I have been thinking about our relationship lately.

Well, not really, every time my brain brought up the topic of feelings or our relationship or the fact that you're smart enough to realize that this is more than purely platonic so why are you ignoring it, huh, Bakugou? Why is your stomach fills with dread every time you notice that he makes you just a tad happier than you normally are? Huh, Bakugou? Wanna cry to mommy about it? Huh?

...That happened. So I tried not to think about it. Tried to convince myself that he is like this with all of his friends. That what I feel, whatever it is, will go away soon enough.

But it's not going away. And I'm not stupid. I'm not fucking dense. I know I have to confront these feelings some day or they will eat me up hungrily, feasting on my fears and hopes. I know there's no running away or hiding in this scenario.

But, one look at him, and I decide not today, feelings, not today.

The time will come soon enough.