just a poem

you broke me

The girl writes this poem when she got a little brave and got courage to talk to boys again after being called a slut for almost a year and realized that she is ruined forever that she is always scared while talking to boys ,scared that they will call her slut again scared that weather they are disrespecting her?

You ,you left I am glad you did
But your voice never leaves my head
The way you called me slut ,
The way you looked at my body,
The diffrent ways you fucked me in your head horrifies me ,
Every one laughed , everyone joined you and innitiated you , but no one stopped you,
I always used to think why you would you do that?
Maybe it was a joke to you,
Maybe I crushed your ego by saying no to you ,
Or hurt your feelings ,
Maybe you really loved me and it was my mistake that I refused your company,
Maybe you didn't ment it ,maybe you were just angry at me ,
You laughed with your friends talking about my body ,
Telling them maybe your fantasies?
You did what you had to ,
But you never realised the tears I shed in girls room were precious ,
You never realised the feeling of being called a whore,
You never realised the horror of being watched everytime,
You never realised that you scared me for life,
You never realised that I was scared,
Scared of goying to school,
Stared of open my mouth ,
Scared to look you in the eyes
Scared to do almost anything in front of you ,
Because I knew whatever I do you will just call me whore ,
You left , but the scare didn't,
You left , but the trauma didn't,
Now talking to any boy ,I am always on my guard,  is he disrespecting me?
Will he call me a whore too,
Is he genuine or just pretending to be nice ,
How is he looking at me?
I was scared of everything, every man in the world,
You left , but you broke me ,
Now talking to the boys scares me ,
I am not the same,
And I never will be ,
You broke me ,
Just everything I do you always judged me , said nasty things about my character , called me a whore ,
I felt watched doyin everything, every time.
And I still feel watched .
I am broke forever.