The Perfect Storm [Park Jimin FF]

Part I

Have you ever experienced unrequited love? The feeling of looking at someone with so much love in your heart, that it hurts. The feeling of not being able to see anyone besides this person, and being painfully aware that he or she is not looking at you the same way. The feeling of wanting them so much that you can hardly think of anything else. I know what that feels like, all too well. Because that's how I've been feeling for the past year, and lately it's been worse than ever. I guess I never really believed it could work out between us. We're childhood friends and he has never shown any romantic interest in me. And I didn't want to risk our friendship, so I never told him about my feelings, and now it's too late. Because my best friend Kim Taehyung is in love with someone else.

It was at the end of our second semester in college that he told me he had fallen in love with a female freshman. He didn't confess to her before we went on break, and I had hoped I could change his mind before we returned to school. But today we are beginning our third semester, and he is determined to tell her. I fear she will accept him. I want to sabotage it, but I don't think I can hurt him like that. In the end I just want him to be happy... who am I kidding, he's mine and I'll make him realise that I'm the right one for him. He'll see.

I've spent most of my break hanging out with Taehyung, and tried to give subtle hints that I like him. But he didn't pick up on a single one. I guess the thought of anything romantic happening between us never crossed his mind, so he can't even imagine it. And all he has been talking about these past few days, is how he's going to confess his feeling to this girl he met during our last semester. He can't even see how much it hurts me. How it feels like torture to watch him smile like a silly teenage boy whenever he mentions her name. And all I can do is force a smile and fight back the tears. I wish things could have just stayed the same. I would like him in secret, so we can stay close friends. But if another girl enters the picture and takes him away, there's no reason to keep my feelings a secret anymore. If I'm going to lose him either way, I might as well tell him how I feel. And maybe, just maybe, I can change how he feels.

On our first day back, we both have class, but Taehyung's starts an hour earlier than mine. I still decide to go with him so we can spend some time together. We don't have classes together this semester, so I won't get to see him as often. At least he's not in class with her either, so that's a comfort. We arrive a little early, so we decide to get a cup of coffee together. He orders the coffee, while I find a table for us. Since he knows me perfectly, I have no doubt that he knows what to order for me. I sit down at a table in the back where we're a bit separated from anyone else. A few minutes later he comes over with our coffee and sits down. He takes a sip and then grimaces, probably because it's still too hot. I can't help but smile while I watch him. Even when he does the most mundane things, I find him attractive. I'm not saying this just because I'm in love with him, but he is really good looking. He has sharp features with a jaw that looks like it can cut through anything, and defined cheekbones. He has big brown doe eyes and thin lips. He is about 1.80 cm tall and has brown hair. He also has a really cute beauty spot under the outer corner of his right eye, a small one on the tip of his nose and another on his left cheekbone. If you were to look at him when his face is relaxed, he looks tough. But as soon as he smiles, he looks like a cute puppy. And I know him well enough to say with confidence that his personality also resembles the latter most. He's just the sweetest guy I've ever met and there's nothing he wouldn't do to make a loved one happy. I've experienced that on multiple occasions, and I love knowing that he cares enough about me to do it. But I don't like thinking about him doing that for her soon, and will there be any space left for me, then?

My smile fades and I look down at my cup. I guess this means I can never look at him with the same joy as I used to. I'll still feel a rush of the love I have for him, but then quickly remember that he'll never feel the same way about me. Instead he has chosen someone else. The love and the pain almost outweigh each other, and I'm not sure, which one I feel the strongest. I look up and realise Taehyung is looking at me. Our eyes meet and he smiles.