But Daddy I'm In Collaboration With Him

Schrödinger's Sexual Orientation.

"I'm kind of a Yoko fan, but I'm kind of equally frustrated by some of Yoko's legacy and history" (Parry, 2016). Being a frustrated is a fundamental part of being a fan. Even if Louis and Harry confirmed that they were both gay and in love with each other, I would still feel frustrated. When Dan and Phil finally confirmed their relationship, I was still frustrated. I was frustrated that they didn't say anything sooner, that I didn't feel like they were representing my version of queerness, that I would never know who tops. After One Direction went on hiatus in 2015, Louis and Harry went in very different directions both musically and aesthetically. Louis went back to his routes, his recent album sounds almost inseparable from Oasis and his clothes seem to match. He's really not a gay icon to anyone but me and the Larry shippers.

It's difficult to pinpoint when Harry's style became more queer, particularly because it's impossible to precisely describe where a straight aesthetic ends and a queer one begins. I would say that his style gradually started getting queerer towards the end of 2013, when he started growing his hair out and pairing his tight jeans with patterned blouses. In 2018 he became the official poster child for Gucci (especially their shift towards more gender-neutral fashion) and in 2019 he rocked up to the Met Gala in a sheer Gucci blouse and trousers the reached his nipples for his Notes on Camp themed look.

It's at times like this when I think about Travis McElroy. Just like Harry, he wears a lot of nail varnish, he dresses a bit more like a lumberjack than Harry, but he certainly has a stereotypically gay aesthetic. He isn't gay though, and when asked if he was trying to make a political statement with his nails he said "I just like it" (McElroy, 2018). Similarly, Harry in a recent interview was asked about his nail varnish, to which he said that for him "its not like doing it to send a message" (Styles, 2020). I reckon that this is a political act though. At the very least it's an intentionally apolitical act, but choosing to not be political is in itself is an inherently political act. The biggest difference between Harry and Travis though is that Travis labels himself. He has a wife and lets it be known that he is straight so as to acknowledge his privilege and not take up space that doesn't belong to him. I worry that Harry not specifying his label means that he is either taking up space that isn't his, or is not being given the space he deserves. Perhaps by not labelling himself he is experiencing both simultaneously: Schrödinger's sexual orientation.

Harry regularly waves fans' rainbow flags on stage, his guitar has a rainbow sticker on it, he's practically screaming about his queerness. But his guitar also has a Black Lives Matter sticker on it and he definitely isn't telling us that he's black, are all these rainbows just a signal of his allyship? Is this just an extension of his treat people with kindness motto? Or is he going to turn around and say "deadass thought i made it obvious" (Lil Nas X, 2019) any day now?

In an interview at the end of last year, Harry was asked about being asked about his sexuality, to which he said "It's not like I'm sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back." (Styles,2019). In my own practice, I make a strong point of labelling myself, I feel frustrated by the lack of representation of trans and autistic people in the art world and I know I have enough privilege and safety to be able to publicly label myself, so I feel it is my responsibility to do so. A tutor once told me that quite a few students at my art school had disclosed their autism on official university records, but this didn't feel like enough. I don't feel represented by people who haven't said it out loud, because if no one says it, we will all keep feeling painfully alone in all this. The real question here though is about what information Harry does and doesn't owe us. As someone with a platform and a lot of privilege, is it his responsibility to out himself? Later in the same interview he said "I just think sexuality's something that's fun. Honestly? I can't say I've given it any more thought than that." (Styles, 2019). He might not have a specific label for himself, but he does know who he's attracted to and who he's done what with, but is that any of our business? Do we need more context in order to understand and appreciate his work or do his songs and actions speak for themselves?

When talking to my mother about this concern, she pointed out that maybe people shouldn't have to out themselves because we shouldn't all be assuming that people are straight by default. She suggested that Harry shouldn't have to label himself as an outsider because his sexuality shouldn't make him an outsider. I would agree with this if it wasn't for the fact that we do still all assume that people are straight and being gay or queer or bisexual or whatever he may be is inherently political. I feel like whenever I label myself, when I put my pronouns in my instagram bio, or directly look someone in the eyes while telling them that I'm autistic, I am making a political statement. In the words of Judith Butler, "the resistance does take the form of a strong affirmation of identity" (Butler, 2019), we cant normalise these labels without first saying them aloud.

A few weeks ago, the phrase but daddy I love him went viral on twitter. Photos had just surfaced of Harry partying at New Years while wearing a white shirt with that phrase written in bold red Cooper Black across the chest. Fans quickly sourced the original shirt to a company called 3rd Class whose Instagram bio reads "Queer goods made in Los Angeles" (3rd Class, n.d.). As well as making it sell out in 20 minutes, fans discovered that the inside of the shirt read "this shirt makes you look gay" (3rd Class, n.d.). Is this Harry outing himself? Do we assume from this gay shirt that he is gay or that he is just dressing in a way that happens to make him "look gay" (3rd Class, n.d.)? Or is he just a big fan of The Little Mermaid?