The Shadow Like Me

One

My feet took me as fast as they could as my heart hammered in my chest. The sound of my heart was so loud that it thudded in my ears. Making it to my room, I slammed my door firmly behind me, locking it. Moving over to my bed, I knelt down and placed Leena's feet firmly on the wooden floor.

"Stay in here no matter what." I instructed. Opening my wardrobe, I slid my clothes aside and made a tiny hole for her to climb in.

"Tae Tae, I'm scared..." she sniffled as tears streamed endlessly down her rosy cheeks.

"Don't be." I replied, but she only cried harder. Opening my mouth to speak,  I was interrupted by the sound of banging on my door. I truly didn't have the time to make Leena feel at ease. Which is what I wanted to do most. Time was of the essence.

"Everything will be fine. I promise." I insisted as I wiped her tears away. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't believe me. Hell, I didn't believe me either. This wasn't the first time something like this happened. But like I said, I didn't have time to talk. The banging on my door had grown even louder now.

He was trying to kick it down now.

"Please hide. And whatever happens, don't come out, okay?" I begged and I saw the hesitation in her face. But like a good girl, Leena nodded.

Watching her climb into the tiny crawl space I'd made for her in my wardrobe, Leena covered her ears. My heart ached that at such a young age, she had to witness this.

Leena was my baby sister and protecting her was the most important thing in my life. Closing the wardrobe, I spun around moments before my door flew open as the splinters from the wood scattered across the floor.

I stood still as the monster I was running from finally stood face to face with me. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I took a timid breath.

"Dad, please..." I begged as I held my hands up. I wanted to show him that I wasn't a threat to him. But it didn't matter. It never did.

You see, my dad liked to drink.

A lot.

But when he did, he always got angry. Really angry. My dad blamed me and my sister for our mother leaving. Truth is, our mother didn't just leave us...she died. I guess my dad couldn't face that truth because ever since, he began to drink. The more he drank the more angrier he got. The more angrier he got, he begun to get violent.

To protect Leena, I took it all.

Every hit.

Every beating.

Everything.

If he needed to hurt someone, it would be me. There was no way in hell I was letting him ever lay a finger on my baby sister.

"Get outta my way boy." My dad warned.

He wanted Leena because she'd accidentally broken a bowl. Something I could easily replace, if I worked hard enough. Shaking my head, I saw the anger deepen in his eyes. I knew there'd be no reasoning with him.

Without another word, my father lunged at me. Full force. My back hit the wardrobe Leena was hiding in.

"Dad, stop!" I shouted, grabbing both of his arms.

The last thing I needed was us crashing through the thing and hurting Leena. Steering him away from the wardrobe, I looked him in the eyes. Mines pleading with his, but there was no use. He was drunk and furious. Being that he was bigger than me, he was stronger. Shoving me backwards, I got the air knocked out of me as I hit the stone wall.

Without warning, my dad came at me full speed, before hitting me in the gut. Groaning, I feel to my knees as I tried to catch my breath. Clutching my stomach, I saw my dad steer his attention to the wardrobe. Crawling over to him, I clutched his legs to stop him.

"Dad..." I begged once more. "Please. Stop."

Peeling himself free of me, my dad kicked me so hard, I shifted backwards, this time hitting my head. I was sure my head was bleeding from the force. Blinking, my vision blurred as I saw my dad come towards me.

"Dad...stop." I wasn't sure if my words actually tumbled from my lips as I blacked out.

************************************
Blinking, my eyes fluttered as I tried to open them. It hurt to. So instead, i let them stay closed. To be honest, everything hurt.

"Tae Tae??" I heard a tiny voice cry. Swallowing, I groaned as I tried to move again, but I couldn't.

"L..Leena?" I croaked.

"You're awake!" She cried harder. I could hear it in her voice. Forcing my eyes open, my vision blurred a bit, until I saw her face under the moonlight. The rest of the room was dark.

We were still in my room. My wardrobe was wide open now and I stiffened as the memory of what happened flooded back to me.

"Leena--did dad hurt you?" I asked a bit panicked.

"No. He never found me. He just...hurt you." She cried leaning over me. She clutched me and I winched in pain. My heart ached more then anything else as I realized my little sister had watched our father beat the ever living hell out of me.

"Leena..." I nearly cried, but I choked back the tears. I had to be strong for her. "I'm fine." I lied. "I'm ok."

"But--"

"Look at me," I forced a smile as I wiped myself to life my arm. My ribs ached with the movement, but I ignored it. Reaching her face, I swiped her tears away, but more fell easily. I brushed her hair out of her face. "I'm going to be fine. I just need a little bit of rest."

"Can I stay with you?" She sniffled.

"Of course you can." I held my smile until she returned one. Cuddling up to me, Leena laid in the crook of my arm, just as she had always done.

Shutting my eyes again, I felt her warm tears coat my arm. I wanted nothing more than to take her away from this kind of life. But I wasn't old enough to. I feared running away would do more harm than good. So working illegally, I made enough to feed us and keep my dad paying the rent.

"Tae Tae?" Leena whispered as we laid on my old drafty, hard, bedroom floor.

"Mm?" I answered.

"Will you sing to me?" She asked.

"Yes." I whispered back. Pulling her closer to me, I began singing softly.

"She looks like a blue parrot
Would you come fly to me?
I want some good day, good day, good day
Good day, good day
Looks like a winter bear
You sleep so happily
I wish you good night, good night, good night
Good night, good night..."

It was the song my mother used to sing to us before bed. And the one I continued to sing after she was gone.