mean it // jjk (on-hold)

ᶜʰᵃᵖ 02 ♡︎

I went into the gymnasium, I felt so nervous as Edward doesn't know i'm going to watch his game i was planning to surprise him,We had a bit of an argument last night so i thought i should cheer him up a bit.

Edward is actually a famous guy here in our school that's why i was so surprised when he asked me to go out with him i mean why me? i'm completely ordinary, nothing's special about me.
His ex girlfriend Nicole is waaay more better than me. She basically has everything i don't except intelligence anyway. Nicole is the kind of girl who is all looks but no brain, We had an English class together last year and she can't even tell the difference between "this" and "these" i don't know if she's actually a moron or she's acting dumb but i find her annoying.

Nicole has done everything in her power to make my life a living nightmare, She always bashes me on social media using her dummy accounts, Whenever she sees me, I always heard the words "slut" and "boyfriend stealer" let's not forget the word "ugly duckling" i didn't mind it all when she makes fun of me but what bothers me the most is the fact that she keeps chasing Edward. Although Edward reassured me once that his relationship with Nicole is already over but i can't help but feel insecure.

For every first i had with Edward, He already had his with Nicole. And i can't shake off that feeling that he's still not over her. There was one time that he went to Nicole's house because we had a fight, I got so mad but i tried to understand him anyway. It's toxic, I know. But what can i do? I love him, and he's the only guy who actually had the guts to court someone like me.

The game has already started, but the bleachers are already full, Angel nudged me in the arm "Your boo's coming"

Then i saw Edward running towards us, His face full of sweat, I can't help but to smile.

"Alright i'll leave you two alone, I'm waaay too annoyed at Edward right now so imma go to the canteen and buy myself a shawarma text me later okay?" I nodded

"What are you doing here?" He asked with a serious tone, I was a bit surprised, I thought he'd be delighted to see me here.

"Uhm i wanted to surprise you, Is there anything wrong with that?" He looks a bit uneasy, He keeps on looking around, Like he was looking for someone.

I can feel my stomach grumbling, Something is definitely off, And suddenly a girl appeared, She look at me with a smug look as she clings onto Edward's arm.

It was Nicole.

"Hi love, I just got off the phone with Mom and yes i can stay at your place tonight"

What the fuck is going on

I turned to Edward, I expected him to atleast look a bit apologetic but no, he was wearing that fucking grin "Can you wait for me outside Nicole? I have to deal with her first" Nicole kissed Edward on the cheek, She turned to me and whispered to my ear "You look so pathetic" She smiled smugly at me and left the gymnasium

After Nicole left, i turned to Edward
"What the fuck is going on Edward? Why are you with Nicole? Have you two gone back together? Since when? Why didn't you tell me? We just had a fight last night and now suddenly you're back with Nicole? Are you shitting me Edward?" I suddenly lost my composure, I don't know, my feelings all got mixed up. I was sad and frustrated at the same time

"Let's face it Chandria, You and I don't make any sense. I love Nicole, I just used you to forget about her and now she wants to get back together with me i'm sorry Chandria but i'm too good for you." He patted me on the head and grinned like an idiot as he walked out of the gymnasium

I feel so pathetic right now, I hate him for being a narcissist, I hate him for dumping me, I hate him for making me look like an idiot, I hate him making my biggest fear come true, I hate him, But suddenly my heart went soft.

I remembered all the times when Edward and I were together. Oh boy i have never been so happy in my entire life, But then it's like my world shattered. My happiness is gone, I don't even know what to do anymore.

I ran out of the gymnasium crying, I know i look pathetic right now but i really don't care, My heart hurts way too much right now.

After running, For a very long time may i add, I felt tired. And so i sat on one of the benches in the school garden. I have so many questions running in my head, Did all those i love yous meant nothing to him? Did he love me? even a little bit? Did all those memories we shared together meant nothing to him? I broke down again, Do i even deserve this kind of pain?

I've done nothing but love him with all my heart and this is what he does to me? Wow what a fucked up mind i got to think that fairytales exist.