breathe.| one-shot

𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢.

i would do anything to keep her happy.

seeing her smile every chance i got was my mission in life. while doing this i realized what made her the happiest was water. i made sure during any free time we stayed at the beach, the aquarium, and the pool. we'd even run through the sprinklers if that's all we had. i'd do literally anything and everything to keep her happy.

sometimes everything is not good enough. i realized that life catches up with you and it does really fast. i was spending money i didn't have to keep her happy and it not her fault she didn't know at first. i tried to keep it a secret but the bills were too much. it was just one after another, so i had to tell her. it's fine though, we were young we had time to fix it, right? oh, how i was wrong.

everything was getting taken from us and knew it, so did she. she spent days in the shower, crying to herself. i guess she made comfort for herself with the water. the realization hit me hard. this was all my fault, so i wanted to fix it. i need to fix it.

so one night, i came home early and fixed her favorite for dinner. while we were eating i made a toast to

"ethereal happiness."

later that night, i ran water in the tub and lit candles around the room with dimmed lights.

"test the temperature," i told her.

she sat on the edge of the tub and put her hand in the water. she turned to me and nodded with a smile. i took a deep breath, pushed her in the water, and held her down. she tried to fight me but i just pushed her down farther.

"let me go," she gargled between the water.

"just let me make everything okay. why won't you let me make everything better? why won't you let me fix it," i yelled down at her.

why couldn't she see this was all for her. i did everything for her.

"i hope you'll be able to forgive me," i muttered to her.

"help me," she pleaded.

i didn't know if it was meant for me or the neighbors to hear. she got up for a second and clawed at my face. i let out a groan.

"stop being ungrateful"

i shoved her down harshly back into the water. water splashed everywhere.

i just told myself it is only a few more seconds left and it will be okay.

5.

kicking

4.

struggled screams

3.

fighting

2.

"please," she looked me in my eyes as her punches and kicks got softer.

1.

"breathe," i whispered to her.

i watched as her lips parted and bubbles from her last breath flew to the top of the water. i heard a knock at the door, so i got up with water dripping from my clothes and her body lying limp in the tub of the now messy bathroom

i opened the door.

"we got a call in for a disturbance; neighbors said they heard screams" two officers stood in front of me.

i just moved to the side, giving them a full view of the bathroom with her legs hanging out of the tub.

one walked into the bathroom and muttered to himself,

"oh god"

the officers gave each other a look and the one in the doorway grabbed my wrist.

"you have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. anything you say may used against you in the court of law. you have the right to an attorney before you speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future," the other officer read my rights to me.

a smile spread across my face and i said,

"i meant it when i said i would do anything to keep her happy."

~pessimistic

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