Why do I always think about what I can Change? For starters I want by boyfriend to become by best friend only again. We barely talk since we co-asked each other. I feel as if I can't talk to him any more. I want to be like it used to be perfect. When I wasn't going to move. When I had a happy family. Why can't it go back when I wasn't as depressed? When I could at least eat a diner with a desert without freacking the fuck out? I want to be told something that I'm doing good by my parents not something I'm doing wrong like they always do. I miss my dad. Yeah he was a jack ass but I loved him. I still love him. And he might be in hell. But for damn I'm ganna go there to. I miss when my mom was around. When it was just me and her. And all out I miss being happy. Is it to hard to ask for happeniss? I want to change my life around I want a cute wordrobe with skater skirts mid thigh socks ankle boots, sheaters and scarfs. I want a guy who matches my dream guy witch I've had since I was 5. He will be in a band with an awesome hair style good taste in clothes and acts like a gentleman. Someone who isn't afraid of bragging about me. I want good grades. I want to go to auditions all the time. I want Starbucks raseberry coffie. I would love to eat a full spoon of peanut butter and not die. To have my own room. Have privacy. I wish I was able to sing really good and wake up looking amazing with out trying and god I wish I had a biogical family. I wish I could erase my scars. To be healthy. To have amazing friends like I did. Can these things ever come true and if not why?
