I've Got You

Chapter 6

Castiel's sense and logic started to come back soon after he was in his room, the comforting voice of his father and the soft touch of his mother pulling him back from the harsh grip of his memories. 

It's Anna and Chuck, he thought to himself, they saved you. They won't let you get hurt. 

He repeated it like a mantra in his head until the bad thoughts went away completely and he was back in the present, wrapped in the arms of his mother. 

"Hey, Cas. It's okay," Chuck said softly when he saw the recognition in Cas' eyes. 

Cas nodded, sitting up slowly as he looked around. He was in the bedroom, Gabriel and Dean nowhere to be seen. 

Shit... Dean. Of course, he just had to have a flashback in front of his only friend and crush.

'Is Dean still here?' He asked, trying to keep the hope at bay. It was better not to get them up. He's been disappointed enough times to know that by now. 

Chuck gave a soft nod, smiling at his son. "Downstairs, in the living room. He's waiting for you," 

Cas sat in the comforting embrace of his mother for a moment longer before getting up, Anna easily letting him go. 

'Thank you,' He smiled a bit, hugging the both of them before leaving to make his way downstairs. 

He felt a moment of panic when he saw Gabriel down there with Dean, but it calmed immediately, because while it was Gabriel's job as his big brother to embarrass him, he would never do that when Cas was in such a vulnerable state.

Dean noticed him first, and he automatically stood up, making his way over before stopping himself, clearly unsure if he could. 

Gabriel, however, just waltzed right on over, wrapping Cas up in a bear hug. 

'What do you need?' He asked as soon as he pulled back, and Castiel, once again, felt so lucky that this was his big brother. 

'The whiteboard and privacy with Dean, please.' Gabriel nodded, getting him the hand-held whiteboard and marker before going up the stairs. 

"Can I hug you?" Dean asked as soon as Gabriel was out of sight, and Cas nodded, trying to hide his excitement. This was their first hug, and while it most likely meant nothing to Dean, it meant everything to Cas.

When Dean wrapped him up in his strong arms, Castiel just melted against him, head on Dean's chest. He didn't even have enough brainpower left to realise he should probably wrap his arms around Dean, as that's how hugs worked. 

But he couldn't even begin to care when Dean just chuckled and held him even closer. 

Cas was so close all he could smell was Dean, and holy shit did he smell good. Mouth-watering good.

...

Holy shit. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!!

I'm hugging Cas. Like, really hugging him. And he's resting his head against my chest and- did he just sniff me? God, I hope so. Do I smell good to him?

If you couldn't tell, Dean was losing his mind. Because Cas, the boy he's been fantasizing about since the eighth grade, yeah, that Cas. You caught up yet? Well, that Cas is iN DEAN'S ARMS!

Okay, he really needed to calm down. Wait, how long have they been hugging? Okay, this was probably weird. He should really pull away... okay, just a few more seconds and then you have to stop. 

Dean guiltily let it go on for another minute, but then, with a heavy heart and more reluctance than he cared to admit, he pulled back, smiling fondly at his best friend.

...

Cas wanted to cry when Dean pulled away, wanted to stay in his arms forever. But Dean was probably creeped out as it is, so with an awkward cough, he pulled back as well, offering a shaky smile. 

"Are you feeling better?" Dean asked, and Cas nodded, quickly writing on the whiteboard. 

'Much better. But, I'm sorry you had to witness that...'

Cas shifted uncomfortably as Dean read the board, trying not to run and hide like his instincts were telling him. 

"There's no need to apologize, Cas. It's okay," Dean sounded so confident that Castiel wanted to believe him. But a lifetime of trust-issues told him otherwise.

He was so pathetic, couldn't even trust his best friend. 

His father's face flashed in his mind, but he forcefully pushed it away. He wasn't going to give in to the past again. Wasn't going to let that smug bastard win. 

That dead smug bastard.

Knees suddenly feeling weak, he sat down, hiding his smile when Dean automatically followed.

Erasing the board, he started to write again. 'It's embarrassing, freaking out like that in front of you. The kids at school are right. I'm a freak.'

Dean looked angry as he read the bored, and for a brief moment, Cas thought it was because Dean wasted his time on a freak. 

But then Dean's face softened as they made eye-contact, and Cas realised his insecurities were just weighing him down, poisoning his mind. 

"No, Cas. They aren't right. And if they just gave you a chance, they'll see what I see. A kind, smart, brilliant person who deserves the world." 

Cas blushed, looking at the floor. Did Dean really see that when he looked at Cas? How could anyone see anything besides a weird nerd?

'Do you really mean that?' 

Dean was nodding before his eyes even fully left the board. "Yeah, Cas. I meant that. You're an amazing person, and an amazing friend. You're the light in my school day. Speaking of which, when are you coming back?"

Cas bit his lip, cheeks crimson from the onslaught of compliments. It was even worse coming from Dean's soft voice, and he was once again brought back to his earlier thoughts. What would it be like to date Dean? Would he use pet-names? Cas wished he could find out.

'Monday. The doctor said I'm okay now, but mom and dad wanted to give it a few days.'

Dean nodded his understanding before smiling softly. "I've missed you a lot. The library is so boring and dull without you there." 

Dean was going to kill him if he kept it up with that fond voice and the kind words.

The conversation slowly drifted to other, less important things, and soon Dean had Cas laughing so hard, he forgot all about the pain of his past. 

Dean left around ten, sheepishly admitting he didn't realise it was that late and it was close to his curfew. 

Cas couldn't be too sad because he got another hug at the door, albeit shorter this time. 

Once it was just him there, leaning against the door, Dean long gone, he realised just how in love he truly was.

Castiel Novak was screwed, and not in the way he wanted to be.