Scorned - REMOVED

Why I'm Removing Scorned and Accused

(Posted in Scorned and Accused)

As many of you know, I made a difficult announcement a little while ago on my public board. I am removing both Scorned and Accused from Wattpad and any online platform on the 20th of April 2020. For many of my fans, this is unthinkable. And to many, it doesn't make sense.

Why delete thousands of hours of hard work? Why take away a story with over 2.5 million reads, nearly 200k votes and 33k comments, not including Accused? Why, Erika, did you give up being a Paid Stories author, and relent any opportunities of publishing or even the creation of films based on your stories?

Well, here I am to explain why and to explain it in more detail than I could on my announcements. Please remember this is me opening up about my journey, and in no way am I forcing my beliefs and values onto you. I want to give you all my inner thoughts, discoveries and reasoning. This is all deeply personal and vulnerable, but I want to share it with you all.

Because this decision was not easy. I have wrestled with it for months. This has been my pride and joy, so much effort has gone into cultivating a culture in and around my books. I've poured money, time and pain into these books. I've been frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, anxious, mind blank and lost all motivation in the past, and yet through it all, Scorned and Accused still pushed past it and continued for my fans to enjoy.

So again, why? Why now? Why sacrifice everything I've worked so hard to build?

The answer is both simple and deeply complex. Please feel no obligation to read this.

I've been a Christian my whole life. I was raised with it. But I was never a true believer, a true follower. I knew God existed, but I didn't know Him. He wasn't the personal friend that He should have been.

But last September, my life changed. I gave my life unequivocally to Jesus. I surrendered everything, and I do mean everything, to Him. I offered up all my faults, my shortcomings, my habits and my very core being.

And I said one very simple thing.

Lord, change me because I am not able to help myself. Change me into a kind, pure and loving person. Help me to help others, and to share the light I have been given. Help me to love You, as You have loved me.

And He did, He changed me. I'm still a work in progress, but everyone around me has marvelled at the complete transformation I have gone through. I was once messy, and now I am neat. I once spoke behind people's backs, and now I am gentle to all. I once sneered at those who hurt me, and now I pray with and for them. I once held grudges, and now I forgive. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

But the more I loved and admired the perfect image of Jesus, the more I realised that I had many things that needed to change in my life. I needed self-control. I needed to let go of the bad habits I fostered. And I needed to take a good, honest look at the books that had been my love and passion for years.

I asked myself several questions.

Did I truly believe that these books were a representation of who I now was, and who I was becoming?

Did these books stand up to the standard of the Bible, my new and precious guideline in life?

Did the morals, values and actions of my book characters represent people I wanted my readers, some young and impressionable, to admire and look up to?

Would I be able to continue the series with a clean conscience, believing in everything these books stood for?

I came to a conclusion after much time struggling and debating with myself, praying and crying.