Things as they Are

Fear

**** There's a music video on the side... Listen to it while reading :) ***

Have you ever been scared of something for so long that you actually grow to like it? The idea may seem absurd but it is possible. Your fear towards it gradually creates a link between the two of you and as time passes by, the link grows stronger and stronger, thus leading to that new perception of things.

 Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you don’t fear it anymore. I’m just saying that you develop new feelings towards it. Having it constantly on your mind, leads to a certain kind of fascination. You are mesmerized by its dark nature; you are attracted to it without drowning your fear any less. Being human and young, we tend to be attracted to the darker side of things. It’s like a siren’s call; you can’t fight the magnetic pull. You’re being driven to it, your mind is fogged. Your fear is paralyzing all your senses but the pull is more dominant.

 Finally you will find yourself slowly walking towards it, almost lifeless, one tear rolling down your cheek, your heart tightening because deep inside you know that you are heading to your loss. You are going to a place that will coldly embrace you and swallow you, sucking out your soul till the last piece of it.

While it will engulf you, you will live all the painful episodes of your life all over again. You will feel each and every stab. You will feel the knife piercing your heart tearing through your soul. All the people who have walked away will come back to pass through you and disappear once again, hurting you like they did the first time.

The dark hole will put you into a deep slumber but you will feel like you are awake as the pain will be so real, so intense. But you will embrace it because you will be left with no other choices. You will curl up in a corner and fight for survival. From afar you will hear people trying to help you but you will not be able to reach out to them. You will be stuck in that cubicle of yours.

It will all be so confusing, because you will despise the pain and loving it at the same time. A part of you will constantly try to escape while the other one will convince you to stay. Being in that hole will protect you from people. It will keep you away from those who will hurt you. You won’t have anything to lose there, because what’s even worse than losing something , is losing something you never had.

That fear is LONELINESS...