GREEN EGGS AND HAM | Greener than ham

The Break Up

Sam and Guy had been together for six months now, and that's a satanic number.

They might've been familiarized with loads of petty shit and drama throughout their relationship, yet they vowed to never leave each other despite the conflicts they may have to endurance in their marriage. Sam and Guy happily went to Costa Rica for their honeymoon, and took up the offer of renting a beach house that lay off the incandescent shoreside. The sea was clustered with sea-stars and alluring barnacles. But you probably want to get in the kinky and sexual shit don't ya? You kinky bastard.

Sam and Guy had their lips locked together in their sleep with saliva tracing their mouths. It was March 27th, 2020, at 7:35 AM, and Sam was just getting ready to wake up. He had a weird taste in his mouth, and noticed excessive amounts of white fluids that were laundered in his tiny mouth. Though he enjoyed it- but he remembered something very crucial that adds on to the reason onto why 2020 so far fucking sucks- COVID-19.

The main point was to practice social distancing from at least 6 feet apart to prevent the spread of Coronavirus, and the 279,895,325,672,385,314,521,122,236,420,069 they have had sexual intercourse, Sam knew that he was ｆｕｃｋｅｄ.

Guy then took a massive shit in bed as he woke up, and said to Sam, "When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real."

Sam couldn't stand Guy's autistic behavior, as he asked Guy "Hey, remember when I took that Coronavirus test and It said positive, and I said it was a prank?"

"Yeah, what about it, bubs?"

"Yeah.. that wasn't a red sharpie pen." Sam admitted

"Well.. what do you mean?" Guy replied in mere disbelief.

"Im saying that I have Coronavirus, and you probably do too. We can't be in this relationship anymore Guy.. I'm sorry."

"Wait, what? We had our wedding, and now we're on this Honeymoon that I had to sell toilet paper for to afford! You can't be doing this shit Sam!"

"Guy, I can tell you right now- There are no cameras and this is not a joke. Im being genuine, Guy... I hate it too. But its safe to file a divorce on each other."

"WHAT THE FUCK SAM!" Guy yelled in mild aggravation, as he grabbed a diamond mirror and threw it on the floor.

"Guy, don't-"

"Don't say a word. I dont wanna hear you speak." Guy sparked in a furious tone, as he took out a desert eagle and barbed it towards Sam.

"Hey- h-hey buddy- you don't have to do this!"

"Im just doing what a man's gotta do, Sam." Guy then lifted his finger upon the gun's trigger,

"My gun clicks whenever I move it- See! Click, click, click, click, click- click!!" Guy yelled as he waved the gun back and forth.

"Guy.. I don't wanna die." Sam began crying.

"Eh, nobody does." Guy told him arrogantly.

Guy began to finalize his aim towards Sam, as Sam whimpered like a desperate puppy wanting attention. "It's just been revoked- Yippie-Ki-Ya Motherfucker!" Guy's final words influenced Sam, as he lay pressure upon the trigger. The gun fired... and Sam was splatted with loads of cum. Guy laughed hysterically, as Sam was very confused.
"You think your little jokes are funny? Well, what do you think of my prank?" Sam replied in irritation, as he took out his iPhone 11 Pro Max and dialed the filing divorce hotline.
"Ring ring.. what's that? Guy and I are getting a divorce? Okay then."
Sam got up, as Guy was pissed off at Sam. Sam went to go to the wide ass window which displayed the alluring shoreline, as Guy bit his lip whilst gazing at Sam's tight ass.
Guy walked towards Sam, while he was trying to manage his own stress from dealing with Guy's Mickey Mouse bullshit. On the other hand, Guy has his own ways of managing stress.
"You got a tight little man-pussy on ya don't ya.. mmmm- it stinks. Nice and good.." Guy whispered in Sam's ear uncomfortably, as he took a tight grasp at Sam's tight ass.
"Guy.. i'm calling the cops."
Guy slapped his phone from his hand as he got tighter grasp of his ass.
Guy knelt down under Sam's crotch, and licked his lips. He poked his tongue out a few times to stretch it out, as he pierced his tongue into Sam's anus. and did the Hoki-Poki with is tongue in and out of Sam's butthole.

"Guy... I still hate you." Sam attempted to say. But Guy misinterpreted his language.

"What's that? you want me to go deeper, okay.." Guy took his tongue and stuck it in more deeper into his anus. It tasted really good. He waited for Sam to cum, but 3 hours passed, and Guy still had his tongue stuck up into Sam's asshole. It was only until now he realized he painted his balls blue.

Editors Note:
I intended there to be more, but I got lazy after writing for an hour, thinking of the story and typing this on my laptop. This will be the finalized  ending of this trilogy, as I refuse to continue this to explicit series. Who knows, maybe I'll write something more excruciating than this. For now, I wish everyone happy quarantining, and remember to stay away from people from a 6 foot radius, and that's a satanic number.