Two Boys in Love

Knee-Jerk Reaction

Octavius sat in the roman foyer with an aching heart. As brief as their conversation had been, it invoked a feeling of forlorn attraction within him. He felt such a connection to Jedediah, but the words he so desperately wanted to say wouldn't come. He sighed in frustration.

He looked up at his people. Regular folks that hardly had an idea of what was going on in his mind. People laughed and kids chased one another around, all of them reveling in the newfound peace between their people. He saw Roman soldiers kissing their wives and husbands, he saw nuclear families and not-so-nuclear families, and he envied each one for the love that they all seemed to share for one another.

Here were people without his titles or his honor, common folk who had hardly seen the rage of war, loving each other in their own unorthodox ways, and he found himself struck with a sort of longing the likes of which he had never experienced before. He imagined what it would be like to live like that. To live like that with Jedediah.

He winced at the thought. He didn't fear his feelings in the same way that Jedediah did. No, he simply hated that the feelings he was having weren't meant to be. A Roman and a cowboy? It just wasn't something that was possible. You couldn't just "Get with" someone from another exhibit. It was an unspoken rule. Besides. It was already taboo to get with someone of another social ranking, let alone someone who didn't even have one.

He took a deep breath. He knew they couldn't be together, for the good of his people. In making peace with his western colleagues he had already created enemies in high places. He had overstepped many boundaries in their agreement, but falling in love with someone from the western world was unheard of.

Jedediah on the other hand, was waist deep in infatuation. And while he didn't accept that it was there, he wasn't about to give up on it. He had finally found something to care about, really care about, and he wasn't going to let it (him) go. He walked back to his exhibit that night with an equal fire in his eyes as his heart.

The next night, Jedediah decided to actively search for Octavius. He climbed the wall between their exhibits and peeked over. He met eyes with some floraly-dressed women, who giggled when they saw him.

"You seen Octavius?"

The ladies looked at eachother and giggled.

"Oh, we've seen him, but he doesn't want to see you," They collapsed into a fit of laughter.

"What in sam-hill do you mean he doesn't want to see me? I mean I ain't expectin' him to be overj-"

"Your little boyfriend is over in the temple, but he's not going to be happy to see you!"

They giggled to each other again, as though she had just said the funniest thing on the planet.

He rolled his eyes and slid down the other side of the wall, landing next to the women and walking off without a word.

He wasn't willing to admit to himself that he was nervous. It was the same nervous he had felt in the diner, and the same nervous he had felt when talking to Octavius on the window sill, but this time it was accompanied by dread. People stared as he walked past. He hated this feeling. The feeling that all these people somehow knew more than him.

He walked up to the great stone temple within which Octavius sat. Though the temple had no walls or doors, he decided to knock on one of the great stone pillars that lined the sides in favor of walking in himself.

"Hey there, buckaroo," he said quietly

The phrase echoed around Octavius as he turned around, startled.

"Jedediah! What are you doing here, in a place of worship?"

"Don't get yer toga in a twist, I ain't steppin' where I don't belong,"

"You shouldn't be here,"

"You said we was friends, compadre, what happened to that?"

"I think it would be within your best interest to banish that thought from your mind,"

Jedediah felt like an idiot. He should've known that the Roman didn't reciprocate his feelings. His face got hot as he tried to hide his remorse.

"I see. I should'a known you probably didn't want to go associating yerself with the enemy," He laughed, to hide his cracking voice.

"Oh you fool. You know this isn't up to me." He said, not even trying to hide his anguish.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Jedediah, you know I care about you. I just.. My people. They don't understand.

"What about you?"

"What?"

"God-dammit Octavius. I'm tryin' my best here! I've been through hell to hide it. From you, from myself, but-"

He swallowed, allowing his own anguish to hang in the air.

"You're everything I want," He confessed desperately. His voice cracked as his eyes filled with hot tears that he quickly blinked away.

The temple was silent as the last echoes of Jedediah's words faded into nothing.

Octavius stared at him as though he had grown another head, but other than that, Jedediah couldn't read him. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut, and they both could feel it.

"Come on n' say something!" Jedediah begged, praying that the unbearable silence be filled.

"I don't underst-"

"Octavius, I think I'm in love with you. You do things to my heart that I don't care to describe. I can't make you feel the same way, but I'm not givin' up on the one thing in my life I give a damn about!"

Octavius winced, as though this is simultaneously the worst and best thing that Jedediah could've possibly said.

"My people are far less lenient than you might think-"

"I don't give a damn! I don't care! D'you think I have it easy, livin in a town of god-fearin' folks with brain cells they can collectively count on one hand?"

Octavius scanned Jedediah's face, bewildered. He was taken aback by the sudden passion from his coequal. He almost had to stifle laughter at the sheer absurdity of his situation. Here he was, the victim of a lovesick cowboy, and his own heart. 

Jedediah ran his fingers through his hair, knocking his hat to the floor. He let out a burst of shaky laughter. 

"I shouldn't have done that, huh?"  He laughed again. 

Octavius stood up gingerly, tucking his helmet under his arm. 

"I... I think I am glad you did." He said hesitantly. 

"Wh...pardon?"

"You should go,"

"What?" 

"You should go back to your home. The night is almost over,"

"After all that? You want me to jus' cut a path n' leave?"

"Just... Go. Please. I need to think."

He picked up Jedediah's hat and handed it to him with a shove before pushing past him out the entryway.  He left without another word, leaving Jedediah in the silent entrance of the temple.  Jedediah watched him leave, feeling confused and exhausted. This time, Octavius didn't look back.