"All great things will come to an end".
Every time I heard this quote it's like I've been paralysed. Seems my world stops from spinning. Still I know there inside me is the unspoken pain; the hidden hurt that no words could express.
But then I remembered “it's done ” - “it is OVER” neither magic nor time machine could bring the past .
I keep on asking myself “why us? ” “Why now? ” and “why does it need to end up like this? ”. I cannot bare the pain anymore. I need to do something.
A lot of things are going through my mind so I decided to end up this suffering. I stood upon the mirror with a scissor in my hand together with the fall of my teardrop I clutched my chest. I can feel myself slowly losing sight and the touch of the fluid continuously flowing out of me.
1814400seconds, 30240minutes, 504hours and 42 days-I never thought that I could still last this long. In a narrow hall I once again have my consciousness. As I wander around a black and white-colored street my memories of the past came flashing back again. Im now feeling all of the pain, hatred and ache I've gone through. I cannot stand it; with my heart beat running fast and the insufficient supply of air I lost my consciousness.
I woke up in an arctic place, its feels like I've been isolated. I tried to forget everything by taking a nap and also to gain the energy I've lost but not until a cracking sound and couple of feet stumble came chasing me. I ran as fast as I could but it seems like I've never move - the place where I tried to sleep is still the place where I am running in. I don't know what to do. I scream with all my might but seem no one hears me. The terror is getting nearer and nearer with too much anxiety, I fainted.
The moment I woke up, I’m in a scorching place bordered with a barbed road. There I saw a very dazzling light; no naked eyes could last even 3 secs looking at it. I heard a familiar voice “COME NEAR MY CHILD”.
The voice is pulling me towards it; there is an extreme force that I can't escape. And all of a sudden I recognized whose voice is this. Someone who never lets go of me when my world goes crazy, who gave hope when my ground gets shaky and someone who never moves even after I've pushed him away. “Lord, it is you. You never leave me through whatever I may face”.
I fainted again.
For the fourth time I woke:
But this instance I woke up resting on a soft, white bed with mattress filled of feathers. The aroma of honey and the scent of roses get through me. The wind caresses me with its chilly yet calming breeze. And when I take a look around I was enthralled with the sight it's resembling the promise land. But all the pleasure was brought to an end when I recall what have happened earlier. I came looking for HIM until I reached the two paths - the narrow and the broad one. I chose the narrow path though it's frightening to go through. When I reached the half of the road I once again heard the feet's stump. I hurried running; I can hear its accelerating too. Im losing hope, its getting closer. “I am with you”. I heard His voice again I hasten up and never realizing Im away from the narrow road I knelt down and serenely pray for the first time in a long time. With an endless stream of tears on my eyes I ask over for His pardon. I felt sorry for locking up myself in what went before; I never consider the fact that there are people whom I can lean on to. I try to be forlorn with everyone but this just lowered my self-esteem, I know I've committed wrong so Lord please forgive me. I closed my prayers by ending it with a soulful “Amen”.
When I open my eyes I am in front of the mirror with the scissors in my hand together with the fall of my teardrop I let go of what my hand behold .I got weak my knees voluntarily went down and I give thanks to our Lord for still giving me life throughout my imperfection.
There comes an instance in our life that we almost lose hope and certainties to finally went down on our knees disregarding that there is Someone there caring for us yet we never mind Him and even ignore his presence. There also comes a chance that He is testing our faith for Him but if you just pursue your loyalty and try not to live in your past instead plan for your future - you'll find your self standing on His firm ground and no one can ever pluck you out his hands again.
Soar higher, Reach farther for He is in you
YOU ARE READING
bound by chains~v i e13
Short Story"How can I survive without you?" "How can I move on when you have my world in your hand?" Insane it may sound, but I can't live a life without him. My everything revolves around him, without him how then can I function? I'm bound to that "past", to...
