Before I Go

Part 2

I refused to believe it when I heard it. Now, as I sat  in this glum cold church, along with many other people, listening to the pastor drone on about life and death, I had no choice but to. Everyone was dressed in black. I could see her mother and her sister sniffing endlessly in the front row  of the church. I sat beside Paul, Pauline and my aunt, who too kept a handkerchief in her fisted hand.

We all stared ahead, no one of us really paying attention to the other. I noticed a small group of girls in their uniforms, some crying while others with tearstained faces comforted them. Everything was simply lifeless. The speeches came and went. Her mother broke down as she spoke and her sister refused to say a word. One of her teachers went up to say something but the pain in his eyes was all too evident. A representative among her friend's went up too. She seemed the strongest among them all. But even then, the lone tear that rolled down her cheek did not go unnoticed.

Finally, it came time to view the body. The congregation moved one by one to the open casket where she lay presently. I looked at my aunt, who gave me a half smile and small nod. Gathering all my courage, I joined the queue, with my aunt and her children behind me.

We all stopped and stood quietly when we reached the casket. Even dead she still looked gorgeous. She was in an immaculate dress and her brown locks were held up neatly in a bun. Everything about her was so peaceful. A tear rolled down my the side of my face as I sighed heavily. She was gone. The love of my life now lay lifeless in a casket before me.

Time came for us to move on and as we did, I caught her sister, Liz's gaze. Her icy stare sent shivers down my spine. We all walked out of the church, got into our cars and moved on to the cemetery. There were a lot less people here. Just close family, friends and her school mates. We all surrounded the grave and listened as the pastor prayed for her soul.

Once he was done, the casket was lowered into the ground. I heard sobs all around me. This was it. Our farewell. The tears flowed freely down my cheeks now and I didn't try to stop them. I said my silent good byes and watched as earth covered the polished wood.

I steeped away to get some air. It was too unbearable to watch. Facing away from the crowd, I stared at the sea of head stones. A breeze blew past me and the memory of June's sweet fragrance blew past along with it. 

"Zack," a hoarse voice called behind me.

I turned to see the girl who made the speech on behalf of her school mates. She gazed at me intently, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. She looked rather uncannily aware of exactly who I was. How did she know my name? What did she want from me?

"And you are? " I asked, trying to steer her attention back to what she was going to say. 

"I'm Malory, but who I am is not important. I've heard so much about you."

"About me? She told you? "

Malory had never been one to share her private life with those around her. She had once told me that any mention of a guy's name in connection to a girl at school would soon become the most dominant topic of conversation by that evening. She preferred to only tell those who needed to know. Those she could trust not to say a word to anyone else unless she allowed them to.

"She did. We were very close friends. That's why she asked that I give you this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Take this." She handed me a small box. I stared at it, puzzled. 

"I thought June's death was an accident," I murmured.

"So did I," she said quietly before she walked away.

My fingers grazed against the lid of the wooden box in my hand. Malory had disappeared into her school bus, which was now leaving. People had began to scatter and it was only Liz and her mother left at the grave. Her mother knelt ,sobbing, and Liz stood beside her, her hand on her mother's shoulder.

I felt an arm on my shoulder that pulled me from my stare. 

"Time to go," Paul said, he too looking at the saddening sight. 

He and Pauline had come home to attend the burial and were to return back to school in the next couple of days. I followed him to the car. The journey home bore a depressing silence that I didn't think any of us wanted to fill.

++++

It was after supper. My aunt and Pauline had turned in early. Paul sat staring at the television but he didn't look like he was really watching it. I sat in the furthest corner of the room, observing the wooden box in front of me. I hadn't yet opened it. I was trying to gather the courage to. As per then, it just stood there, me staring at it and it staring right back at me.

I heard Paul get up. 

"Did she send it?" he asked, close behind me. I could only nod. 

"What's in it?" he asked again. I shrugged.

"Aren't you going to open it?"

This time, I raised my eyes to meet his gaze.

"I don't know, should I?"

Paul sighed heavily and sat down beside me. 

"You never told me this but I knew that you loved her from the first time you laid eyes on her, " he started.

 I remained silent and a lump grew in my throat. Seeing I had no reply, he continued. 

"I have known June for almost all my life. We weren't best friends or anything of the sort but I knew her very well.

"I watched her very closely the day you two met and let me tell you this. June was never one to love at first sight. She always read of it, but never believed in it.

"Zack, June fell in love with you on that day. I know she did. She must have been really hard to crack, but I know she loved you. If she sent you that, then there's something she wants you to have. To always remember her. Open it. "

I held the box with both my hands. They trembled heavily. Paul gave me a reassuring pat on the back. 

"I'll give you some privacy, " he said before he left the room. I too got up and walked swiftly to my room, turning off the lights in the living room. I placed the box carefully on my desk and sat in the chair. Taking a deep breath, I flipped the lid and peered inside.