Cheers to my first reader, commenter and voter yee_sheyy. My god, you've commented for the whole wattpad population. Let's lift our invisible wine and toast it for more chapters.
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Things might not better tomorrow. You may have many tomorrows and nothing changes. But that is not the point. The point of moving through all these tomorrows is to get to the one tomorrow that finally does get better..
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", god, god," the only thing that came to my mind right now is god. I feel guilty for calling out his name only during these type of situations.
I mean I'm a religious person and all, but my devotion has been decreasing over the past few years. There is no one to blame for that but myself. I'm just hating myself for remembering about him when I'm in a dire situation like right now.
As I made my way through the road with fast pace, my chant has increased ten times more.
My heart is pounding, hands are sweating and legs have become wobbly.
I turned on my phone. There is a huge imprint of a palm on the screen. Too much for sweating.
I tried to control my thoughts by going through few quotes:
1| how to deal with anxiety
2| how to not appear nervous
3| how to act normal
4| how to not look like a weirdo
How to act normal
The list went on and on until I reached near my destination.
Things that help anxiety....
1/ Phone a friend. ✖
2/ deep breathing . ✖
3/ hold on to someone. ✖⚠
4/ Go for a walk. ✖
5/ Showers and baths with oil. ugh no?
With a long sigh, she turned off her phone. Those ain't helping.
The heart beats 150 to 200 times a minute when you have attacks.
Anxiety and panic.
Her heartbeat was increasing gradually. Running faster than the hand of the alarm clock. Beating like it would come out any second from her body.
She hated that feeling. The feeling of fear.
Various things triggered this attack.
She knew what stirred the current one.
It was 4 am in the morning. She was supposed to be asleep and having beautiful dreams.
Yet here she was, pathetically researching on how to deal with anxiety attacks , cuddling two layers of blanket, listening to all sorts of calm music.
None of them came in handy.
She was supposed to be like every normal kid on the campus, lost in dreams to re-energize themselves for a fresh start.
Again here she was, thinking irrational thoughts, soaking the blankets with sweat, throat tightening and her mouth drying.
She needed a cold water. Yes, that could help.
She silently stood up and reached under her bed to retrieve the cartoon where she packed a few mineral waters.
She turned on her flashlight and caught sight of her roommate.
Her name was Tracy.
She was from Louisiana.
Hadn't exchanged more than few words.
She learned few things about Tracey from her observations though.
The highlight being that she was a very loud snorer.
Claire never liked the sound of snoring. For her, snoring was basically bragging about being asleep, so loud that it stops other people from sleeping.
It was like Tracey was lying there screaming "I'M HAVING A LOVELY SLEEP".
However, she kind of envied her roommate right now.
She realized she was staring at her roommate for a bit too long like a creep. Shaking her head she knelt under the bed.
She hurriedly rummaged through the boxes to save her mouth from drying like a helpless plant in the desert.
She gulped down the entire water in one shot.
She was craving for something very fresh. But the water was insufficiently cold, not fizzy enough, leaving behind an unsealed likeness of thrust.
She was not going to lose to this attack this time.
Sometimes people are forced to make some decisions in a split second, and she made one then
Few minutes later...
Few minutes later, she found herself walking in the cold airy morning of July in a rather slow pace.
She felt a sudden calmness as she breathed in the fresh amount of air.
Although it was summer, the morning air was cool and refreshing. The smell of the freshly mowed grasses reminded her of home.
All of a sudden, she felt safe and peaceful. Like everything was normal and that she wasn't some weird kid walking up to the store at 5 am, just to buy ice cream.
By the time she reached the mall, she was fully awakened. Any feeling of sleepiness has left her body.
She grabbed a huge packet of mint flavoured ice cream along with a coke from the fridge.
Remembering about breakfast, she bought readymade salad and milk.
She placed the items on the counter and looked up. The shopkeeper, a muscular looking woman gave her a questioning look.
Claire nervously gave a small smile.
The woman's face softened and smirked at her.
"Let me guess. You ain't a stripper cuz you look too innocent for that. You ain't a runaway wife cuz you look too innocent for that as well. Which leaves me to believe you're an early riser or insomniac college kid", the woman laughed loudly at her own joke.
Not knowing how to respond, Claire just giggled and nodded.
"I've grown used to murderers, thieves, runaway wife, strippers, alcoholic arriving at such hour. " the woman casually chattered while doing some calculations.
"aren't you afraid?" she mustered up her courage and asked.
"Not at all. I'm strong enough to kill 5 people at once. It's quite exciting to meet people who have walked different paths and have a story to tell. All of them people are still human at the end of the day ya know?" the woman handed her her to things.
Claire was amazed by her openess and humanity.
She paid for the items and thanked the woman.
Savagely feasting on the ice cream, she hurried towards her dorm to get ready for the dreadful day.
2 hours and 30 minutes later
This was how she appeared:
• Freshly showered
• Concealer hiding every evidence of dread, darkness and lack of sleep
• Blush making the face lively and healthy
• Mascara brightening her eyes
She seemed like an optimistic teenager and not like a sleep deprived crazy woman. A hideous irony when you think about it.
Few students were still loitering around killing time, not willing to go inside the classes yet.
She arrived faster than anyone inside the hall.
She didn't care if the professor labelled her as an eager student or whatever.
She just needed to keep a low profile and save herself from them.
The 100 pairs of eyes..
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Heyo brothers. If you took your time and made it to the bottom, thank you so much. It is my first work(ain't I a liar?).
Actually I attempted to write in the past but due to my laziness, I could complete only one chapter with 200 words which was ya know, crappy .
For real, let's fight this laziness.Cheers.
YOU ARE READING
I can hurt
Teen FictionIt's great to look at your beautiful face in the mirror. Many people would love to be in your place whereby you wake up and look so spectacular. Yet if they had your brain, they would rethink their wish. who would bear to look at themselves and see...
