Quarantine: I Am..

Listen

Hey.

I understand that we are all at home, us teenagers-even adults-suffering from boredom, probably struggling with online classes. 

We all feel alone, like we're in a state of isolation and some of us might've developed unhealthy habits:

-Eating because we're bored/depressed/alone

-Sleeping too much because we have nothing better to do

-Anxious or paranoid with lack of social interaction

-Depressed because we can't see our friends or family from other states

-Annoyed because most stores/restaurants are closing down and we can't do anything or go anywhere

But let me tell you something: I was in a terrible state of depression a week ago. I was sleeping a lot, not really eating much (for me, whenever I get bored or depressed, I don't eat and I sleep a lot but it is different for others). I cried alone, thought alone, felt alone... when in reality, I was not alone. In reality, I had my family right there with me; my mother is always working and my brother ignores me most of the time. I fought with my brother almost every time we crossed paths and got easily angered and frustrated. I was at an all time low, questioning my existence and why this happened, believing nobody deserved this. 

I was angry and I was depressed for a while until I finally picked myself up off the ground and decided to stop this ridiculous inactivity. I began to exercise more, read more, do more chores, take care of my dogs, and found something to do with my time alone. Mind you, I didn't talk to anybody about my struggles, so I did this by myself. My mother barely noticed because she was working all the time. My brother just didn't care enough to ask how I was feeling. My dad's in another state, doing his job and we're separated, so we can't really talk because he's too busy.

So if you're at home, feeling alone, depressed, anxious and angry, I understand you. I understand this feeling of isolation and fear that you're useless. I get feeling powerless in times like these, but I feel that I have not treated others good either. I am guilty of that.

I fought with my family a lot. I didn't look at my phone for days. I ignored people who tried contacting me because I didn't want to talk to anyone about how I was feeling. And to them, I sincerely apologize. I felt broken, lost and alone. But I've mended things with my family. I hope I can mend things with others as well.

Please don't let this horrendous pandemic destroy you like it almost did me. Don't let it stop you from doing your daily, basic activities. Know that you are not alone in this. Your friends and family are there for you. They care about you even if they get angry at you for things you can't control. They love you so much.

And have a nice day. Do something productive. You might just get a better night's sleep ;)