ten.

919 78 104
                                    

may, 2026

my dearest yuta,
i hope this letter finds you well. it's been a while, huh? by the time you get this letter, i'll be gone. it's not fair to you, and i apologize for that. i guarantee i spent my last moments thinking about what would have happened if we could have gotten married and bought a big house in japan for all our children.
i'm sorry i can't see that with you. i'm sorry for being a coward. i don't want you to be angry with satomi or mark, they were only fulfilling and dying girl's wishes. i want you to be mad at me. i want you to get all your rage out on this letter, because i know you and i know you are upset. i want you to forgive my sister and mark and me. i want you to learn to love again. i want you to find someone worthy of your love and happiness. someone who will stay with you and our son.
oh, our son. is he beautiful? the doctors tell me that there is a chance i will not make it long enough to see him, but i will try my hardest. from what i saw on the ultrasound, he looks like you. i named him nagomi. nakamoto nagomi. gosh, he isn't even here yet and i love him. i hope that you will too...
i'm getting tired, so i'll end my letter here. please, take care of yourself.

with love, ootori nanami. 201012

-

a bittersweet smile crossed yuta's lips as he read the letter for the millionth time. he received it exactly five years ago-may 2021. nanami's sister, satomi, delivered it, along with the news that his first love had passed away.

she died in november of 2020, the same day that yuta's son was born.

when yuta met his son, he was surprised by how small the child was. satomi explained that doctors had to perform an emergency c-section at barely eight months, meaning nagomi was born a month early.

when yuta first laid eyes on his son, he cried.

nanami was right. the baby looked just like him.

his heart hurt every time he held the child, wishing that nanami had had the chance to hold their son at least. that hadn't been the case, but yuta was there now. since he was still an active idol during the arrival of his son, satomi helped take care of the baby.

now, five years later, yuta walked down the sunny sidewalk with his son's hand in his. they'd just had a talk about what to do if he was ever teased for being smaller than the other kids.

"kick them, kick them! like bruce lee!" the boy repeated, and yuta smiled proudly.

nagomi giggled as he skipped beside his father, swinging his tattered, blue-grey teddy bear with his free hand.

when a park appeared in the distance, the little boy's eyes lit up. "papa, can we go on the swings?"

yuta smiled down fondly as the boy tugged excitedly on his arm. "sure, gomi." the small boy showed a bright smile that made his cheeks chubby. yuta's heart ached a bit when he remembered nanami's gummy smile.

they arrived at the park and nagomi jumped into one of the swings. yuta crossed his arms over his chest and stood next to his son.

"need any help?"

"i can do it, papa!"

yuta chuckled and leaned against a pole as nagomi pumped his legs back and forth quickly. it wasn't getting him anywhere. after seeing how determined the boy was, yuta sat in the open swing next to his son and showed him how to swing properly.

the two successfully swung back and forth, laughing, for almost half an hour. nagomi only stopped when something caught his eye. yuta furrowed his brows, slowing to a stop as he watched his son hop off his swing and approached a little girl sitting on the concrete.

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