To be in Control | Quackity

Chapter one

It didn't begin with anything major.

Only a spur of the moment remark, really. A joke. Alexis had been conversing with Aksel and Carson on Discord. He had his webcam turned on, and he had been ironically moving to the iCarly signature tune. His shirt had ridden up his torso as a result. Just a little bit. Aksel took notice of this quickly and decided to make a seemingly harmless joke.

"Aren't you getting somewhat pudgy, eh Alex?" Aksel had managed to say between fits of laughter. Carson had too had a good laugh at Alex's expense. Alex managed to choke out a slightly hysterical laugh as well.

"No, what the hell man!" He'd exclaimed, laughter bubbling in his voice.

The hazel-eyed boy had not taken the comment very seriously at all, snickering along until Carson jokingly channelled in, "Yeah! Alex is much pudgier now than he was when I started speaking to him!"

That night, after the call, Alex went to the bathroom, resting both hands on the edge of the sink and gazed at his appearance. For reasons unknown, that remark had gotten to him. He had at no other time thought of himself weight-wise. His slightly oversized hoodies had always made him look thinner and more slender than he was, hanging off his form. But what if underneath those clothing hid someone who really was getting a little overweight.

Looking into the mirror that night, Alex began to have his first doubts about his appearance. Be that as it may, he deemed himself satisfactory, knowing that he was of average weight, if not a little underweight for his height and age. But he would still have to watch what he ate. Only for the sake of Twitch and Youtube, of course. He wasn't exactly trying to lose weight. It had nothing at all to do with the comment about being pudgy, even if his cheeks were a bit chubby...

And for the next week, Alex made himself wake up early in the morning to take a run at the local track field, and by the end of the week, he was doing multiple laps. He focused more on the fruits and vegetables of his diet, staying away from the large dairy products and sausages, eating healthier than he ever remembered eating.

By the end of the week, even though Alex didn't look very different, he felt a lot more energetic. The change of foods had been good. He became even more enthusiastic when streaming, and his fans seemed to love it.

After a month to two, Alex concluded that this control of his life was something he truly preferred. As a streamer and a Youtuber, he didn't have much control over his future. YouTube could fail at any moment, and Alex adored this control he had now. In any case, that remark still nagged at him...

So he decided to venture a shot at it, as humiliating as it seemed to be.

"Aksel," he asked seriously, once in a Discord call with him. "Am I... pudgy?"

While Aksel had only been paying partial attention before, he now looked up at Alex's face in shock. He blinked at him for nearly a minute, making Alex squirm slightly in his chair. He finally closed the game he'd half-heartedly paused before.

"I'm taking that this isn't a joke, which scares me," Aksel said, Alex's unfamiliar and serious tone making him feel uneasy. "Where did you get the idea that you're pudgy?"

Alex leaned away from his setup slightly, unnerved by the sudden concern. "Nowhere. It's just an honest question, Aksel. Not a suicide note." He shook his head suddenly. "Know what? Forget I asked."

"You're not pudgy, Alex."

But Alex didn't believe that. At seventeen, almost eighteen, and remaining at 168 centimetres, he wasn't going to become any taller. The fat wouldn't simply just vanish if he somehow happened to become any taller. So besides eating healthily, Alex decided that yes, he needed to go on a diet.

☾ *:･ﾟ✧

"You're turning down chocolate?" Carson had exclaimed when on a Discord call. He looked disturbed. "Pal... we live on chocolate, remember? You love chocolate."

Furthermore, Alex had patiently explained to Carson that he needed to stay in shape. "And who on Earth told you that you had to give up chocolate?" Carson asked, bewildered at even the thought of cutting chocolate. "You want to get fit as a fiddle? Chocolate is the food to do it!

If cutting a few things out of his diet had had such a good outcome, cutting out more should be even greater. The sentiment of control he would get would be extraordinary, and things would be perfect once he was thinner. He would stop once he wasn't so pudgy. It wasn't like he was going to stop eating or anything. He was just further giving up fatty foods and eating smaller portions, that's all. He would exercise as well so that he could keep up well in shape. It was healthy.

The end of the month found Alex before the mirror again. He gazed into the mirror with sparkling hazel eyes, his dark hair dripping into his face and a towel wrapped around his hips. He was a little more tired lately with the extra exercise, but Alex found his morning runs more stimulating if he forced himself to keep going until he could find his second wind.

It had happened once when the dark-haired boy kept himself going far past his body's limit, and it had felt wonderful. Like a sudden blast of energy, like being plugged into an outlet. All his tiredness had gone at that moment, and he felt as if he didn't even need to breathe anymore.

And now he strove to reach that point again each morning, to gain that temporary euphoria that was natural and oh-so-stimulating. But it was hard. And trying made Alex more tired than before, even with the healthy foods he ate. A bunch of grapes at breakfast, half a lettuce and tomato sandwich at lunch, a large glass of orange juice for a snack, and a healthy-sized salad with lemon water for dinner. It was more than some adults ate.

In any case, standing before that mirror, it was just too much. He pinched the back of his upper arm and almost recoiled at the amount of fat he picked up. His cheeks were still as round as could be, and the mass on his legs hadn't gone down a single bit. His diet just wasn't working. In fact, it seemed to almost be doing the opposite.

He hated it. More drastic measures needed to be taken.