With everything that had happened those first few weeks i was there, i was afraid to be open with anyone and i crawled into a shell. A very thick shell.
OK lets go back. In the first 9 years of my life i had been molested and raped by my own family over 100 times. After that i don't know exactly but it was alot more then that. The pain and fear were very bad, as you could imagine. It was what came after that was the worst. Shame and disgust were there even when it was not happening. The marks from being held down and forced to do what they wanted could not be hidden away like i thought they could. The teachers in school made many reports but nobody listened to what them or i had to say
It was the mental scars that i carried that were the reason for my shell. A place that i turned to when i was afraid, and i was VERY afraid at this point of my life.
So there i was 10 years old and not very open with anyone when the worst thing that could happen, you guessed it, Happened. My father found me and was watching me from afar. Learning our schedule. After school one day just after my 11th birthday i was walking home from class and all of a sudden ... there he was. I ran as fast as i could but he caught me and kidnapped me.
He did rape me again but this time., he was not able to keep me. There was a person that saw what had happened and contacted Larry and the police who did come to get me and arrested my father. Now i know what your thinking, they finally got him, right? He was out in 15 minutes and back on the streets in my town.
Larry took me to his girlfriends house and dropped told me not to follow him and he would be back in a little while. His girlfrind was nice. Her name was Melissa and she was about to move in with Larry and me, but we will get into that part later. She made me feel safe for the time being.
Larry had been away for a few hours and there was a knock on the door. Melissa answered it and it was my father. She tryed to slam the door but it was to late, he was in. Thats when Larry ran in and shot him in the head. I was scared to death and the shots that were fired didnt help with that. They were loud and hurt my ears. GRAPHIC WARNING! When Larry fired it was like having hot water sprayed on you except this was not water. It was my fathers blood. It was everyplace, on the walls and on the ceiling and on the floor and all over me.
Seeing that happen you would think that i would have been scared and i was, but... it was also relieving. Relieving? Yes, it was. All the years of being tortured the way i was and looking for a way out of that were over at last. Or so i thought.
