The Big Book of Beatles One-shots and Art

He touched Ringo's drums

As Paul McCartney walked through the door of the studio one thing struck him as odd. It was quiet, almost too quiet. There were no snarky comments, whining about being hungry or quips being thrown around like usual. It was, dare I say it, peaceful. And Paul tried to soak it all in before the everyday chaos ensued. The keyword being tried.

"Lennon, I'll kill you and dance on your grave once your buried if you don't get back here!", a voice roared, breaking the tranquillity, before a madly cackling John ran past Paul with a furious Ringo and anxious George following not too far behind.

"Ringo, calm down! I'm sure John meant no harm!", George said, trying to reason with Ringo. "Rethinking your life choices?", a familiar voice from behind Paul suddenly asked, making him jump a few feet in the air. "Ack! Brian? What are you doing here?" "I came as soon as I heard Ringo shouting.", Brian said with a chuckle as he saw the fighting duo and trying-to-help George.

Speaking of George, he was currently trying to get a struggling Ringo off an out of breath John. "You alright?", George asked John while restraining a growling Ringo by holding his arms behind his back. John nodded in response, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to get his breath back. "How did this happen?", Paul asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"John, apparently, wanted to use Ringo's drums before he got here. George tried to talk John out of it, threatening him that Ringo would kill him, not just tell him off like he did to that guy in A Hard Day's Night, if he found out. But John, being John, decided not to listen and when Ringo walked in, well...", Brian said, deliberately trailing off with a small incline of his head towards the other three.

George now only had one of Ringo's arms in his grip and was barely managing to hold on, "John, just apologize!", he exclaimed as he felt his grip beginning to slip. "Mmmmh...", John hummed thoughtfully while stroking his chin, "Nah, don't feel like it." George only scowled at John while shaking his head. "Who do you think will win, George or Ringo?", Paul offhandedly asked as he stared at the fighting trio. "Ringo.", Brian said after a lot of thought. "Seriously? Rings? The sweet cinnamon roll Starr?", Paul asked, his voice tinged with disbelieve.

Brian cleared his throat in an exaggerated manner while pointedly looking at the wild Ringo. "Alright, not so sweet, but still!", Paul indignantly exclaimed. "Want to bet?", Brian asked, seeing a money-making opportunity. "You're on!" "£5?" Paul carefully eyed Brian's outstretched hand then the fighting boys before shaking Brian's hand, "Deal." They both jumped as a terrifying war cry sounded through the room.

Turning in sync they were just in time to see George prying Ringo off of John again, this time keeping him at bay by keeping them at arm's length from each other (also using his foot for extra measure). "Brian! Paul! Help!", George pleadingly shouted, turning towards the grinning pair. "I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody!", John teasingly sang. "John, if you antagonize him any further I'll release him and leave you to your own demise.", George threateningly hissed. John raised his hands in mock surrender but not before he stuck his tongue out at the distracted George.

"I think we should go and help.", Brian suggested as Ringo kneed George in the crown jewels and tackled John before starting to choke him. "Let's give him a few more minutes.", Paul said trying to stifle his laughter, "Anyroad, George can handle this.", he added confidently, not willing to lose the bet. The now recovered George again tried to pry a furious Ringo off of a blue turning John, but he wasn't so lucky this time around.

As soon as the words left Paul's mouth, Ringo left-hooked George and went back to strangling John. "I see cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over my head.", a dazed George said before slumping to the ground. "Or not.", Paul said with a sigh escaping his lips as he slapped £5 into Brian's awaiting hand. "Ta.", Brian said before both he and Paul rushed to help a defenceless John.

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