Goldfish Bowl

Chapter 21

Things didn't miraculously get better. Alisha's night had been plagued with nightmares and all she saw was his face over and over again and when she startled awake, she cried because she had forgotten how he looked like, how his smile was slanted whenever he was amused and how his green eyes shone whenever they were sad.

It had been a few months after August died when she realized that she had begun to forget how he looked, how his voice sounded like, and everything about him had been slipping away from her grasp and it hurt so damn much because someone had too keep his memory alive, someone had to remember him because the family that were supposed to love and protect him had failed him. Struggling to keep him alive was even harder than trying to stop herself from feeling guilty.

No matter how damn much she wanted not to, she was human after all and she was forgetting.

Her hands shook visibly as she washed them and as she washed her face, she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, noting that she looked pale in a manner than emphasized the bags under her eyes.

Downstairs, Yasmin and Hector were having breakfast, both of them dressed to go to work, they barely glanced up from their food when she muttered a hoarse greeting and the way Yasmin was quiet told Alisha that her parents had probably gotten into an argument.

It was rare for them to get into arguments that weren't the usual petty kind but whenever they did, Yasmin would resort to hiding in her shell while Hector would try his best to act like there was nothing going on but this particular morning, he didn't even bother to pretend.

Alisha sighed as she took a seat by the table, it looked like it was going to be a very long morning.

She took small sips of orange juice and made herself a small bowl of banana flavoured custard, looking up warily occasionally, waiting for one of them to explode and when Yasmin pushed back her chair, the sudden sound made her flinch and she had to remind herself over and over that Hector and Yasmin were not Festus and Vera.

It was hard to remind herself, when Hector abandoned his half eaten toast and wheeled himself out of the dining room with a half hearted goodbye to her.

"What's wrong with him, Yasmin?" Alisha asked the Italian woman who was scrubbing furiously at a dish in the kitchen, she reached up with her soapy hand to tuck a stray weave of hair into her bun. "What's wrong with the both of you?"

Yasmin blew out a tired breath and she left the dish in the sink after washing her hands.

"I'm tired of him pushing me out when things get rough for him, almost twenty years together and he's always run when things hit too close." She said, blinking back tears. "He wants me to drop him off at a friend's house and when I asked why he wanted to visit someone he's never spoken about to me, he all but told me to mind my business."

Alisha struggled to say something that would make Yasmin feel better but she came up empty.

Yasmin sighed.

"Just, don't worry yourself, Alisha. I'm going upstairs to get my shoes and bag and we'll be off. If you leave the house do shoot me a quick text. I'm not sure when we'll be back." Yasmin didn't wait for her to nod, she just plastered a smile on and walked out of the kitchen.

Alisha stood there for the longest time, even after they were gone before walking back into the living room to stare at the muted TV. She fiddled with the remote, switching it back and forth before settling on Food Network, she went back into the kitchen and pulled out her favourite snacks from the refrigerator, she wasn't hungry, she just wanted to do anything that would take her mind off everything.

As she chewed mindlessly, watching two chefs argue on the best way to sear meat and wondering why her emotions were all over the place that particular morning, yesterday had been good, she had laughed and smiled, Nehemiah had sent her a flirty goodnight text, for a while, it had seemed like everything was going to fall into place.