IS IT JUST ME?

9.

Cause this would be one whole lot easier
God, I know that's selfish but it's true
If underneath some calm exterior
You're all fucked up too

I got the news today.

You are marrying that colleague of yours?

I wish, i wish that you still love me,

But i know

I am being punished

For what i did

In the end, only those cry who have done wrong.

You were sincere

You loved me

Your love was pure

But I

It was me

I betrayed you

I tried to cheat on you.

I was the one wrong

This is why

You are going to make a happy life from now on.

But I?

I will always cry like this

But i am not blaming you

Cause i brought this to myself

I did this

I myself kicked the blessings away.

Now this is my punishment

But the pain

It is unbearable

I feel like someone is choking me

I feel like there is a heavy stone on my heart

I can't breathe

I wish that you read this diary.

Not now,

May be some years later

When you have completely forgotten me.

I wish you read that i am sorry

I wish you read that i have reaped for what i sowed

I wish you read that i was in pain till my last breathe

I wish you read and forgive me for i have already bore what i got to myself.

But this is unbearable.

So i am going to put an end.

To your thoughts.

But i can't get them out of myself.

The only way to finish this pain is to finish myself.

And so i am finishing myself.

Good bye Huang Zi Tao

Few blood drops fall on the last page of that opened diary..