Camp Bluelake

Chapter 6

I made my way to the canteen, wondering where Jesse has disappeared to. Lost in my thoughts of where my roommate was I blindly pushed the door, but instead of it opening I banged right into it, stumbling back but regaining my footing.

"It's a pull," came a voice from behind me. I turned to see Fox, the guy with the espadrilles who helped me find my cabin. He chuckled and reached round my head to pull the door open as I stepped back into his chest. I looked up at him and smiled, "thanks! Couldn't have done it without you."

I walked into the large canteen, looking around. There were large windows along the two longest walls, opposite of where we came in, sunlight dancing in streams across the floor, heavenly, even, as the tables obscured the path. The tables were set out in rows with matching oak benches on either side. A few people were sat eating and chatting, a rather convivial bunch of people. I'll fit right in.

I spotted Milo already sat down in the corner. Not the most jovial in the room, sat alone, but I walked over to join him. Realising I had lost my manners, I turned on my heel.

"Would you like to join us?" I asked Fox with a smile. He nodded and followed me like a big dog.

I introduced Milo and Fox, they both gave curt waves, Milo blushing just as he had when I had first greeted him. The tree next to me was much cooler about his approach.

We all walked to the front where we got our food (already paid for in advance) and sat back down. I had a croissant and a doughnut and a juice box. The other boys both looked at me, estranged by my meal. I looked over to see Fox sporting a water bottle and bagel with just butter, and Milo with a smoothie and piece of toast.

"How come you didn't get desert?" I questioned. I mean the food is there, why not eat everything you can. I slurped my juice box until it was gone and I was making loud noises.

"Stop that." Fox said but it was lighthearted. I stopped, and then proceeded to fill it back up with air. I giggled at my master piece.

This time, Milo asked the question, " how old are you again, Kai?" I looked up and stated sixteen, when my birth date was, and my birthday.

"So, how old are you guys?" I asked back. Milo came out with a short "fifteen." And fox added on with a "just seventeen."Interesting, I thought.

"Huh, we're all like a year apart, except I'm actually almost seventeen, in a couple months." Then I turned in my seat to see Jesse coming through the doors. The pull doors, I think, making a mental note.

I waved, what I thought amicably, to him. But he blushed, scowled and walked the other way. An arm gripped mine. "Slow down there kid, I think you scared him off with that windmill of an arm you got there," he said letting go of it and chuckling.

"I used to play baseball when I was younger! I was an amazing pitcher. I didn't get on the team though," I said sadly. "I still like watching though. Did you know that the farthest home run was swung by none other than Babe Ruth, and it was 575 feet long!" Fox turns quizzically to Milo and asks "how does he change his mood just like that?" He snaps his fingers and milo just shrugs.

"How about you guys? Do you play an sports?" Fox is the quickest to answer again. I'm on the basketball team back at high school." He says calmly, though by the glint in his eye, I can tell he loves it. "I can't believe we're both juniors." He tacks that on at the end.

"And how about you Milo?" With all eyes trainers on him, he blushes. "Oh I don't play sports." He pauses and then continues, sensing we want to know more. " I like drawing the most though. I'm not amazing or anything but I really like drawing what I see. I take a lot of pictures." That's the most Milo has said since I met him in the showers.

"Woah! Can you draw me sometime? Prettyprettyplease!" I rush out all in one. I don't wait for a reply. "Great thanks." I smile widely and then stand up.

"Well it was great seeing you guys, but I want to go and find where my roomie ran off to. I'll see you guys at the lake later though right?" I again don't wait for a reply as I skip off.

With my amazing remembering skills I yank the handle back, proud of myself for remembering. The door doesn't budge, and for a moment, I feel locked in. Memories come back so suddenly that I'm bolted in place, my hands creating a steel vice around the door handle, sweat begins to pool above my brow as I scrunch my eyes closed, my breathing ragged as images form into vivid animations in my head.

A hand grabs my shoulder. My head snaps up and I push away, cornering myself between the door and Him. But, it's Fox who appears, with his hand still outstretched. "You okay? Me and Milo were worried. You just froze up." Milo is behind Fox with a concerned expression. I blink my eyes harshly.

"Yes." I reply. The shortest answer I've given since coming here. Then people come through the door next to me, and I slip through without saying another word, hurrying back to my room. My body was moving entirely on its own. I really didn't know where I was going but my physical form seemed to, as my legs carried me further and further away from the canteen.

I opened the door with haste and rested my forehead against it.

"You okay?" I startled, whipping my head round to see Jesse sat on the top bunk, book in one hand, pastry in the other. His hood was up but his eyes were soft.

"Yeah, just going to lie down." I state this in the best matter-of-fact tone I can, my voice still wavering. I rummage through my duffel to find my headphones and iPhone, eyes trained on me the entire time. I don't look up, instead curling up on the bottom bunk, The Beatles, blasting as loud as I could make it go. I couldn't help the sniffles as I stared at the blank, concrete wall. I made a point in my head to call Cole later. He'd always sleep with me at night when I was upset and he'd let me cry it out on his chest. I missed him so much.

My body was rolled over, not forcefully, but enough to make me cower back. It was only Jesse and I tried to remind myself that I'm safe and He isn't here.

"Look, you're being kind of loud." He pauses and I make a small apology. He sighs. "Okay, I'm not good at this whole... comforting thing, but here." He passes me his hoodie, and I hesitantly grab it, actually taking him in. He has on the same ripped black jeans from yesterday, a black shirt with rolled up sleeves, probably due to the heat (and because I might have broken the thermostat when I cranked it down too far last night, but he hasn't mentioned it). His hair is a mess and for the first time, I notice how tired his eyes look. The deep, cerulean depths of his glass orbs seem bottomless... and sad.

I pull the jumper on and thank him. He nods, and jumps up the ladder. A few minutes pass, and I ask him "where did you go? This morning?" I know the lake wasn't open and he definitely wasn't in the showers or canteen.

I don't get a reply for some time, and just when I think he won't say anything, he says, "I don't like being indoors all the time." It's all he says, and I know that's all I'm gonna get — for now at least. I turn over, the bed creaking softly underneath me, and tuck my head into the front of the jumper, inhaling the citrus scent of Jesse, and slowly, drift off.