Brave Face

Part Three

Luke blinked at Tom in confusion before ushering him inside. Whatever it was had happened to bring Tom to his door in such a state and at this hour, Luke was certain it was definitely not a conversation for the front step. He closed the door and hurried to follow Tom into the living room. By the time Luke rounded the corner into his living room, Tom had collapsed onto the couch, legs spread and head resting in his opened hands as he rocked slowly back and forth.

He took a deep breath and came to stand before Tom's hunched form. "Tell me exactly what's happened."

Tom stuttered through his explanations, unable to look Luke in the face, his were eyes downcast and his hands wringing together before him; he'd been drinking and picked up a woman he didn't know at a pub, they'd gone back to hers and had sex, and only after had he realized that they'd not used protection. The mortification burned as he admitted just how badly he'd fucked up. How could this have happened? How could he have been so fucking careless?

He felt Luke's eyes burning into him as his publicist fired off questions and demanded clarifications of him in rapid succession. Exactly which pub? Whose idea was it to leave? Did he remember her address? Her name? What had she said when he'd realized? Where there any photographs taken; at the pub, on the street, in her flat? Did she know who he was?

Tom was visibly shaking once more as Luke's questions continued to rain down on him; his stomach tying itself in knots, his mind racing, and god he was sure he was going to be violently ill. Tears welled in his eyes and he couldn't seem to stop them. God. Oh god what had he done? How could he have been so fucking, fucking stupid? He dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands, trying to ground himself, trying to keep the world from splintering around him. He couldn't breathe; his chest burned with the effort and he could hear the worst sort of wailing noise that he realized to his horror, was coming from his own lips. But he couldn't make it stop.

Luke's sudden grip on his shoulder, so tight he was sure it would leave fingermarks, was only thing Tom could focus on. He heard Luke's voice in his ear but couldn't focus on his words. It felt as if the world was closing in around him. Luke shook him hard enough to rattle his teeth. "Tom, stop. It will be alright. We'll fix it. Just breathe. We can fix it."

Slowly Tom raised his head, his eyes wide and glassy with tears. "How? God, Luke, how are we going to fix this?" The words were jumbled together, almost incoherent. How could they possibly fix this mess? She would go to the press, she would ruin him. Everything he had worked so hard for would be gone. His mother would be so bitterly disappointed in him...What if she ended up pregnant? He couldn't be someone's father....Round and round the thoughts circled, bumping and colliding until they were all Tom could see.

"Tom! Stop! Look at me." Fingers forcefully grabbed Tom under the chin and pulled his face upwards until his eyes locked with Luke's. "I will worry about all of that. Me. That is my job. Just breathe for me. In and out. And in. And out. Good, just like that. In. And out. And in." He could feel his racing heart start to slow. The tightness in his chest easing just a fraction. "We will figure all of this out."

It took until well after sun up for Luke to get Tom calm enough to talk coherently. He plied Tom with tea as he went through the questions he needed answers for once again until they were both weary with exhaustion. Tom couldn't remember the building number but was pretty certain he could recall the street name. He was able to give Luke the name of the pub and the woman's first name, Anna. He also told him that she'd stated she was on birth control after he'd confronted her but that he had no idea if she was being truthful. She hadn't seemed to recognize him, at least he didn't think she had, and he couldn't recall seeing any photographers around the pub or in her street.

"What I can't understand is how this got so far out of hand, Tom? I know you've not been a saint since..." Luke's voice trailed off for a brief moment, eyes darting to the side as he caught himself from uttering her name, before continuing. "But you've always been careful and discrete. This...Tom, what happened?"