MishBir TS : IN YOUR SAFE HAVEN

PART 1

"Mishti, tumse baat karte huye mujhe aisa feel ho raha hain jaise main maa se baat kar raha hu"

His words kept ringing in her ears. Does he really think that she has been behaving like his mother now? No, no! That's not true. Abir will never think of her like that. She tried to calm herself and look for him. Unable to find him anywhere in the resort she went upto the watchman asking about his whereabouts. He told her that a car had just zoomed past away having three people in it. Her whole world had come crashing down. Did Abir really leave her alone and went away? Assuming the unexpected she turned back and started walking towards the room.

"Kya Abir sachmein mujhse itna tang aa gaya hain? Kya use ab meri zaroorat nahin? Kya woh..... kya woh yeh shaadi.... mujhse shaadi... reg...regret kar raha hain?" ; her mind echoed the pain in her heart. Even if a thousand knives would have stabbed her altogether at once still that pain would have been less than what she was going through right now. Strolling aimlessly on the pool side she tripped upon a stone. Gaining composure at the right moment she was brought out of her reverie. The gravity of the situation dawned upon her as tears streamed down her face. She ran towards her room and banged open the door.

And there she found him. Standing by the window...leaning on the frame...eyes shut in deep thought. Running towards him she pulled him by the collar and pinned him to the wall.

"Sab mujhe chhodke chale jaate hain. Tum bhi jaana chahte ho. Koi mujhse pyaar nahin karta. Tum bhi nahin karte. Kya tumhein pata nahin ki mujhe tumhaari kitni zaroorat hain? Tum chale jaoge toh mera kya hoga? Yeh kaisi khudgarzi hain tumhaari Abir? Yeh kaisi khudgarzi hain tumhaari jo tumhein mujhse dur jaane pe majboor kar raha hain?"; she kept hitting his chest pouring her heart out.

"Mishti....Mish...Mishti... meri baat suno...."; Abir tried to calm her down but to no avail. She kept on hitting him feverently expressing her hurt and pain.

"Mishteeeèee stop"; he held her by the shoulder and screamed. His loud shreik made her shudder as she looked at him blankly.

Breathing heavily he let out a deep sigh.

"Tumhein kya lagta hain? Sirf tumhein sab chhodke chale jaate hain? Mere baare mein socha hain? Bachpan mein baba mujhe chodke chale gaye. Poori zindagi unke wapas aane ki ummeed mein bita diya maine. Aur jab woh wapas aaye toh mere hi peeth pe chhura bhok diya unhone. Apne matlab ke liye woh mujhe use karte rahe. Yahan tak ki mujhe jail bhejne ki bhi poori planning karke rakha tha unhone.

Mishti.... jinn par maine sabse zyaada bharosa kiya unhone iss kadar mujhe chot pahuchaai hain ki ab dil tootne pe dard bhi nahin hota. Tumhein pata hain? Bachpan se lekar aaj tak main maa ke pyaar ke liye tarasta raha. Lekin unhone kabhi mere bare mein nahin socha. Kai baar aisa laga ki shayad main hi kahi na kahi galat hu. Maa toh kehti hain ki woh mujhse bahut pyaar karti hain. Lekin phir mujhe woh pyaar nazar kyun nahin aata? Kyun Mishti? Kyun har baar maa meri khushi ke aage apna matlab laake rakh deti hain? Yeh kaisa pyaar hain unka? Yeh kaisa pyaar hain jo unhein apne bete ki khushi kabhi dikhaai hi nahin di?

Mishti...Mishti mera bhai...mera Nanko kuch din pehle tak mere sath nahi tha. Jab jab main uski aankhon mein tumhaare liye nafrat dekhta tha tab tab main andar se bikhar jaata tha. Mujhe samajh nahin aata tha ki main kya karun? Aisa kya karu jisse ki tumhaare aur Nanko ke beech ki saari differences dur ho jaye? Aisa kya karu jisse ki mujhe kabhi tum dono ke beech mein se kisi ek ko chunna na pade? Aur aajkal aisi same feeling mujhe firse hoti hain jab main tumhein aur Kuhu ko ladta hua dekhta hu. Main sachmein chahta hu ki tum dono ke beech ki saari problems, saari differences dur ho jaaye par mujhe samajh nahin aata ki main kya karu? Kaise sab kuch theek karu? Tumse zyada mujhe tumhaari zaroorat hain Mishti. Aur agar tum hi mujhse roothi rahogi toh main kaha sahara dhundhuga? Main khudgarz nahin hu Mishti. Main bas zindagi se haarne ke kadaar pe khada hu. Aur ab mujhe koi raasta nazar nahin aa raha"