Shower Stories

Twelve Reasons

Rosebud Sampson
7.15.07
Twelve Reasons

As I stood in the shower, cold-water pounding on my head and snaking down my bare skin in clear ribbons, forgotten memories plagued my mind. A wry smile played on my lips as I recalled the memories fondly. I barely even noticed when shampoo began to run into my eyes, causing them to sting slightly, or when the water began to turn colder still.

"But Daddy!" I whined with all my ten-year-old glory. My father rolled his light baby blue eyes.

"Rosie," he warned, his tone reprimanding. His tone worked on me just about as well as my whining did on him. Not at all. "No buts. Now you get into that bathroom and take your long overdue shower. And you will be nice to your siblings!" I groaned loudly, but turned on my heels anyway.

"But Jordan and Zak never have to take showers with any of the kids!" I complained one last time. I didn't have to turn around to know my daddy was shooting daggers at me with his eyes. I glanced over my shoulder and dared one look at my father. Yep, boy was I right.

"Go!" he commanded pointing at the bathroom door.

Here are twelve reasons I came up with for why I shouldn't have had to take showers with my three younger sisters:

#1. I hate taking showers to begin with, let alone with The Monsters.

#2. I'm ten, I shouldn't have to anymore.

#3. They like to argue. A LOT.

#4. When they argue they splash me. I HATE being splashed.

#5. The shower isn't even big enough for the four of us.

#6. They like to get soap in my eyes. ON PURPOSE!

#7. Can't Dad just give them a bath like Mom does?

#8. They like to pee while in the shower. And then they end up peeing on one of the other kids. Which is DISGUSTING and it causes a fight. UGH!

#9. They push each other, and then they slip, and I get blamed.

#10. They NEVER listen to me.

#11. One of them always ends up crying.

#12. Did I mention I hate taking showers? I can just bathe in the river thank you very much!

"Sophie!" my five-year-old sister, Grace, screeched before I could even push the bathroom door open. I shoved the door agape and closed it quickly after slipping inside. Sophie pulled a crayon from baby Abigail's mouth and held it up to me.

"Rosie, Abbie was chewing on this crayon," she tattled, shoving her pudgy four-year-old hand into my face. I pushed her hand away.

"Just get in the shower," I muttered irritated. All of my sisters had already stripped their clothes off and were prancing around the tiny bathroom naked. They made me uncomfortable when they did that. If Dad would've let me, I'd of shower in my swimsuit. I reached into the shower and turned the water on, it was freezing cold, as usual. Whenever I did end up taking showers, I was - excuse me - we were always last. The water was ALWAYS cold. It was only because the boys are older than the girls ('cept me, which is why I got stuck with them). The boys ALWAYS get to go first.

"Rosebud!" Sophie wailed throwing her arms around my waist and knocking me into the faucet (which hurt like heck by the way, and gave me a bruise). I resisted the urge to scream as I glared down at my little sister. "Abbie bit me!" Even though Abbie is only two, she has quite the biting problem. She bites EVERYONE. My brother, Jake, and I nicknamed her Piranha. Mom and Dad HATE that.

"Abbie no biting." I struggled to keep my voice calm as I unwrapped Sophie's hands and handed Grace the bar of soap. I then began to lather shampoo all over Abbie's damp hair.

"Rosie!" Grace cried. "Sophie stole the soap from me!" I rolled my eyes as I balled my hands into fists. Why couldn't I just give them all Charlie Horses to make them all shut up? It always, always works on the boys. Oh right, they're not boys. They're dumb little girls. I folded my arms across my chest and huffed irritably.

"Sophie hurry with the soap and give it back to Grace. Hurry up and wash your hair girls!" I said through gritted teeth. I HATE taking showers. Did I already mention that?

"ABIGAIL!" both my younger sisters screeched at the same time. "EW!" I growled in frustration as I turned to face my sisters.

"Rosie! Abbie peed on us!" Sophie cried. Tears were running from her eyes as soap ran down her chubby face. I gritted my teeth to keep from shrieking. Meanwhile, Abbie started to cry because she hated when people yelled at her. I rolled my eyes and ignored them. There was nothing I could do about it. At least she hadn't peed on me.

Finally, after seven more minutes, I couldn't take it any longer. I quickly shampooed my long, dark brown hair and slammed my fist into the knob shutting the water off. I slipped my clothes on, not bothering to dry myself off first. I ignored my sisters' fighting as I stormed out of the bathroom.

"Dad!" I shrieked stomping into the family room where he and my mom were reading on the couch. He looked up at me, frowning. "I am never taking a shower with those three monsters EVER again! Not ever! I'd rather smell like one of Joshua's socks before ever going in there with them again!" I stomped my foot and crossed my arms for effect. My parents looked at each other and snickered.

"Okay, you don't have to," my mom said dismissively before going back to her book. I stared at her in shock.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. My father lowered his book, giving me his dreaded serious look.

"You're a big kid now Rosie, you're right. You shouldn't have to take showers with your sisters anymore." I was ecstatic. I'm sure my face lit up like a Christmas tree. In my family, you know you're a big kid when you no longer have to take showers with your siblings.

"Although," my mom added from behind her book. My heart sank. Uh-oh. "It does save water and is better for the environment." Oh great. Thanks Mom, you really know how to lay on the guilt trip.

"Rosebud!" Josh called from outside the bathroom door. "Other people have to get in the bathroom too you know."

"Hold your horses!" I shouted in return, as ice cold water pelted my bare back.