I Am From

I am From

I am from hollowed eyes, underlined from lack of sleep

Haunted eyes, revealing a past their owner intended to hide

Daring eyes, flashing with hatred as you stare into their emptiness

I am from cries of agony not allowed to surface

A soul on a stake, roasting for no one to see

A life hung on a thread about to break

I am from the shadows

Emotions on the dark side

Slowly overpowering what all that is light

I am from thoughts of violence

To acts of violence

From a blinding rage which cloaks everything in red

Marking it as a target for destruction

I am from a battlefield that is indescribable

Conscience weighing over emotions

Bandages holding together a tattered mind

Trying desperately to keep it whole

Failing, for I have begun to crumble

I am from crying in the night

To wanting to howl at the moon

Needing an escape that has yet to come

Claiming to want to be left alone

But really wanting to feel loved

I am from masking what is inside 

Behind fake smiles and faltering laughs

Putting on an appearance that all is okay

When in fact another part of me is scratching at the barriers set to prevent me for crying for help

For needing help means weakness and that isn't allowed

I am from having to pretend

Having to be strong for those around me, so they may stumble and fall

I am from being the shoulder they cry on, the one they tell their secrets to, entrusting me with them

I am from never speaking a word of myself

Never opening up for another

Never trusting them

Doubting myself

I am from not knowing things I should know,

Common things, that when asked, I simply cannot reply

I am from physical pain, a body betraying the heart

I am from the mental war wounds becoming aches and pains

Binding mental shortcomings with physical being

I am from dreams of death and plots of pain

Splotches of blood dripping from veins

Salty tears falling on a pillow, late at night, surrounding by beloved dark

I am from being afraid to fall 

Yet being afraid to soar

I am from being afraid to trust, for fear of betrayal

I am from showing the one person I have ever trusted this poem and losing them for good

I am from proving this poem is right