Isis, cory, hannah, xadyn, sergei, 🅱randon, ezra, car🅱ur, seaweed, that random asshole guy who always yells at us in the hallway or fuller 🅱asement in
🅱ITING THE 🅱RYANT
Chapter 1: 🅱iting the.
🅱randon.
Chapter 2: Father
Hannah was a casual highschool girl who loved herself a hot Daddy. Like, a HOT Daddy. 🅱y Daddy I don't mean a father figure. I mean a 🅱ig large papa figure. One she can call Dad. One she WILL call dad. She'll say dad, father, pops, pappy, progenitor, paterfamilias, paternal parent, guardian of the masculine gender, daddio, peepaw, papi, papa, Shit like that, yaknow? She just wants someone to call her 🅱u🅱, champ, sonny, and sport. She wants a handsome father figure that'll run the grill at the family Sonday 🅱🅱q. You kno? Like, just a whole pops. A 🅱ig P-O-P. Someone like 🅱randon 🅱ryant.
Her sick cool 🅱uddy ol' pal isis had a SEXY 🅱OD, like the hottest 🅱od. Like gargANtUan titties, thique fucking thighs, as though she got implants 🅱ut like, they're made of whale 🅱lu🅱🅱er. As though someone took a syringe and just INJECTED her legs with lard. Fucking disgusting, like so fucking gross. You know whales are like, 35% fat? It's all that just injected into her thighs. It's so fucking gross. You can physically slosh around the lumps of lard. 180 tonnes of pure 🅱lue whale 🅱lu🅱🅱er. She looked like someone took two 🅱lew whales and taped them on her legs. 🅱ut like, they're flesh colored whales. Very evenly tanned, apparently. 🅱ut Isis, she was one HEll of a SLuT, 🅱ut she was a slut for OnE man, and ONe man AloNE. Christopher William Howell Junior. He's a TINY 🅱oi. A MINISCULE man. Like, super small. As in, he's not really an important character. So whatever. And neither is Isis, 🅱ecause this is really the only part she's a🅱out to 🅱e mentioned in except for. This is a🅱out 🅱randon after all.
Xadyn and Sergei exist too, they look like a stereotypical russian couple, I don't know what that looks like 🅱ut I assume like everyone else, except Sergei is a t h i c c su🅱ur🅱an dad, I mean T H I Q U E, seriously, like this 🅱oi got c a k e for days. He even rivaled the gargantuan 🅱lue whale thighs of Isis. And Xadyn looks like a punk rock su🅱ur🅱an momWhich I guess that makes them not a Stereotypical russian couple, 🅱ut rather, a stereotypical Su🅱ur🅱an couple., and also like the emo girl from the 🅱reakfast Clu🅱. Which who the fuck watched the preakfast clu🅱 outside of fucking millenials am I right? HAH! Ok 🅱00mer.
Chapter 3: Sweaty Socks
Hannah just loves muscled men with titties, 🅱ecause if she could have it her way 🅱randon would have HUGE dou🅱le ds. Like massive, as if Sergei's ass titties were his chest. She just wants those sweet sweet chest pillows. She'd give a nut for a jar of tuna, which is a palindrome Xadyn made up a few years ago. Palindromes are words or phrases that remain the same when they're written 🅱ackwards, like Taco Cat, or racecar.
Hannah was enamored 🅱y 🅱randon's smooth deep frank sinatra voice, and his thin crusha🅱le neck. As well as his super Long torso, which was like that of a salamander. Long, slimy, and strangely orange with 🅱lack spots on his 🅱ack. She loved the idea of 🅱randon slithering up her 🅱ody like he'd do in the mOist ha🅱itats of which salad-man-ders often live. She wanted to stay up all night with him, since salad-man-ders are nocturnal creatures. She wanted him to 🅱end his 🅱ody in ways that were disgustingly inhuman and crawl under her 🅱ed, like the rocks or decaying trees salad-man-ders are frequently found 🅱eneath.
During her daydream a🅱out 🅱randon's disgusting salad-man-der 🅱od, she found herself terrifyingly (like it was pretty diddly-darn scary) aroused, it was like a small stream down there, which is exactly the kind of ha🅱itat for a salad-man-der.
