Several Short Storiesss

The Tree

The animals all reached the tree at dawn precisely. Golden light flitted through the young oak's leaves, and dense clouds rippled against the sky, adding texture and more color.

The animals stood at the base of the tree, a lemur, a big cat, a terrier, a bear, a short hair, a monkey, and a lone fish, swimming helplessly in its bowl. The fish had been carried here by the monkey, brought on time by generosity alone. The fish owed the monkey a great debt, for this was the fish's last chance. His last chance to prove his worth.

The baboon walked up lankily, hand in his suit pocket to draw out a golden pocket watch. The chain clinked solemnly as he read the time. The monkey quickly placed the fish's bowl on the ground and wrung his hands nervously.

"It is a quarter past six, as anticipated." The baboon intoned, his nose huffing out a breath. It would definitely be hot in a suit, the fish decided. He wished he could walk over to the baboon and splash him, but that probably wouldn't be appreciated. He wouldn't be appreciated.

"Now," the baboon continued past all the fish's thoughts. "You all submitted your estimates on the dawn's arrival. Those will determine when you take the test." All the animals stared at the oak tree with trepidation, all except the baboon, who had taken this test years ago and passed with flying colors. He had done well enough to become the facilitator of this test. It wasn't as great as he first thought.

"The worst estimate, by far, was the terrier's at half-past six." The dog quivered its long brown tail, its white body quaking. "You, dear dog," said the baboon, "will climb the tree first."
The terrier hunched down on its belly in disdain. The rest of the animals listened to their orders.

"The cat, the black bear, the jaguar, the sifaka, the vervet," the baboon winked at this name before flatly saying, "and the fish." The animals stared at the fish, who swam to the bottom of his bowl, embarrassed. He had done it, he had guessed the closest time to dawn. He remembered it exactly. "6:15" he had bubbled to the baboon. "And twenty-eight seconds." Now that he thought about it though, twenty-four seconds would have probably been more accurate. It didn't matter though.

He was the closest.

He was the smartest.

"Every animal must climb the tree, without aid, to prove his brilliance. Dog," the baboon said, "when you are ready." His pocket watch was replaced with a silver stopwatch now, and a small, stubby thumb hovered over the start knob. The terrier circled the tree, snout to the ground. This was his only chance of being redeemed for his idiocy. The fish worried for him immensely. Could dogs climb? He heard some terriers could, but the fish couldn't remember which kind the dog was. The dog's slim body and brown and white face struggled to think. To climb the tree... how would he do it?

Obviously, the dog knew how he would. He rushed up the oak, his paws gripping on to the bark with ease. Within what must have been ten seconds, the dog was nestled in the full leaves of the tree. He barked once and said, "I am complete." The other animals cheered him on. The fish blubbed in approval.

"Nine seconds and seven-hundred and sixty milliseconds," said the baboon. "Very impressive, dog."

The dog slipped off of the oak with ease and grace. He walked by the cat, who the baboon called next. She too skidded up the tree with ease, but when it came to coming down, the bear had to help. She snapped up the tree in a record six seconds. After rescuing the cat, the jaguar and the lemur were next, and they raced up the tree. Then it came time for the monkey, who dangled his long limbs up the oak with such speed that the fish couldn't even view it with his glossy eyeballs.

"Three seconds and one-hundred and forty milliseconds," clipped the baboon. "Not far from my own record." The baboon needn't remind the animals of this. They were well aware of the baboon's superior climbing skills due to his fantastic upbringing. The animals cheered for him too.

"Now, now," the baboon quieted the others, a little aloof, "it's time for our last examinee to step up to the tree." The animals quieted, forgetting who was last.

Oh, of course, the fish realized. It is me. I am the last candidate.

The monkey quickly realized this too. "Shouldn't the fish be exempt?" the vervet asked. "Seeing as the fish isn't... adapted for tree climbing?"

The baboon stared at his primate friend. Of course, the monkey would think something as naive as this, but the test could not be changed.

"Who's fault is that?" said the baboon, pacing in his glossy suit. "Shouldn't the fish have moved to land when the time was right?"

"And get out-competed or hunted?" barked the dog, getting fired up. He wagged his tail left and right. "The ocean suits his breed just like the land suits mine!"

The other animals started to murmur in agreement, but the baboon could not let this stand.

"Enough!" He cried, his shriek ringing out sharply throughout the valley. "The fish," the baboon hissed, "will proceed to take the test."

The fish stared in shock. There was no way he could do it. He hadn't thought about it at all, but the answer was clear, so horrifyingly clear, that he had no choice but to do it.

The fish wagered in his mind. He had but two options: quit the test or die. He was stupid. An idiot, a buffoon. There was no way he could climb that tree, he wasn't clever like the other animals at all, who had all scaled the young oak with ease. How could he be such a failure? In his whole life, he never thought such a decision would befall him.

He questioned his mind as each second ticked on in his brain. Ordinarily, he would resign, defeated, but alive for another day. That would be the smart move. But he obviously wasn't smart, he couldn't scale the tree, forget all his other strengths. So really, there was only one decision:

To die trying.

The fish rocketed himself into the sky, the air rushing by his face. He felt every single scale, every single mucous in his body, crust over and dry. The other animals cried out in astonishment, while the baboon only glanced in slow displeasure.

The fish didn't even reach the tree. He laid there in the small grass, writhing and twitching in agony. The animals only panicked harder. As the fish's eyes started to gloss over, he heard the baboon click his stopwatch and sigh.

"Fish, you've failed."

*a/n: WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Threw you in for a loop with that one! After I hyped HABK so much, I just didn't post it! Since it's longer (not as long as Scrimshander tho...) I've decided to post both of the stories separately. I'll start writing more for Hot Air (HA!), but I'll probably start posting Scrimshander every Thursday. Not this Thursday though, I wrote that in a long month of fever dream (I need to check if it's coherent) It's a riot, you gotta be prepared for that guys.
Anyways... it's midnight where I am, so technically this is late, but I'm sure somewhere in the world it's not midnight, so there I'm on time! Did you like The Tree? I like the tree because it reminds me of standardized tests.
I hate those.
Except when they're funny.
ANYWAYS, if The Tree made you think, you should totes tell me in the comments ;) if you find the Einstein quote it was inspired by, you should also tell me ;)) If you just liked it, you should vote ;)) I think!
STAY SAFE AMIGOS
<3 Tara A.
(P. S. R you guys doing online classes? I'm  in doing that, and can I just say, that shiz is wiiiiild)