The Demons in my head

Jon

  'No one likes you so stop trying'

'You're not worth the effort'

The Voices were getting louder and I couldn't think straight anymore

'Just stop trying to impress everyone'

My mind felt so muddled it almost hurt

"Jon"

All my thoughts flew back into focus and I realized I was staring right at Ms. Bennet, the history teacher.

"Um... Sure?" I had no clue what she said "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

"I asked what year was Archduke Franz Ferdinand assassinated?"

"1914" some else called out

'You're so stupid you couldn't even answer that simple question'

'Why do you even try?'

"Good," she turned around to write on the board, "As you all know the midterms are starting next week. That means you should be studying everything from the American Revolution to World War One"

'Oh yeah' I thought 'midterms, just another thing to fail at'

"Will there be a way to get extra credit?"

I looked over at the source of the voice and I couldn't help but stare.

I've Known Riley McCarthy since middle school and every year she gets more and more beautiful. Her Strawberry blonde hair always shone in the sunlight and her eyes were as blue as the ocean.

'She'll never like you'

'No girl would ever fall for you'

'You're too ugly'

The voices were right. I don't think I'll ever be good looking enough for a girl to notice me. I mean I was in shape because I played soccer but that's the only thing I had going for me. I wore glasses too big for my face, I always dressed in oversized clothes and I never spoke to anybody other than my one and only friend..

"Hey got any plans after school today?"

My head snapped to my left and the person sitting next to me

"What?" I asked trying to process the question

"I asked, do you have any plans for today?" Sarah has been my best friend and neighbor for as long as I can remember.

"Nah, I was just planning on watching Netflix and playing video games all night because i am destined to die alone" I answered

Sarah laughed and snorted, "stop joking"

'I wasn't joking' I thought

"Anyway" she continued "since you're not doing anything, want to hang out? It's movie night tonight and I'm tired of hanging with just my mom."

"Sure why not, my parents don't really care what I do anyway"

"Cool we're gonna be watching Avengers infinity War"

"Oh, did you guys watch Black Panther already?"

"Yeah we saw it last Friday." She paused "sorry did you want to watch it?"

"No it's fine, I was busy last Friday anyway."

'She didn't invite you because she doesn't like you'

'She just doesn't want to hurt your feelings'

"You know what we can watch Black Panther first and then Infinity War"

"Yeah sure" I said

"cool meet me at my place at 5 my mom is cooking dinner"

"Oh what's for dinner?"

"Don't know, you know how my mom is"

"Right, she likes to keep you on your toes"

The bell rang and everyone started getting up. I looked back to my right and saw Riley about to leave. She looked at me and waved. Me being the idiot that I am just gave her a strained smile.

"Alright Hal see you later" Sarah said.

"Yup" I said "see ya"

I got up from my seat and grabbed my bag. I looked over at Sarah and realized she was staring at me.

"Uh...you ok?" I asked

"What?" She fixed her glasses and hastily pushed her hair out of her face "sorry just lost in thought" she grabbed her bag and walked out the classroom.

The rest of the day was a blur. All I wanted to do was go back home and go to sleep. The final bell rang and as I was leaving the room my bag strap got caught on the door handle. It took me a couple of seconds to get myself free and when I looked around to see if anyone noticed I locked eyes with Riley.

'Fuck!' I thought, looking away 'I forgot she was in this class'

I looked at her again and saw she was trying not to laugh. I felt so embarrassed. I left the room so fast I was almost running.

'Now she thinks you're and idiot'

The voices were right, that was the second time today I made myself look stupid.

My phone started buzzing. I took it out of my pocket to see who texted me. It was my older sister Jessica.

'Mom and Dad aren't gonna be home tonight' the text said. Another text popped up, 'don't bother me.'

'Cool' I thought, at least I can go home and do nothing while not have to worry about being bothered for a couple of hours.